Dark Lord

There's approximately 745.3 Dark Lords in literature and pop-culture. I'll give you a run down of three (with a special guest at the end,) in order of creation.

Lord Sauron.
AKA: The Lord of the Rings, The Enemy, The Great Eye, The Dark Lord.
Traits: Bizarre ring fetish, kickass Mace of Pwnage, kickass minions of pwnosity.

Darth Vader
AKA: Anakin Skywalker, Lord Vader, The Dark Lord, James Earl Jones.
Traits: Lightsaber. Hell, everyone loves lightsabers... THE FORCE! Quotability to the max.

Lord Voldemort
AKA: You Know Who, The Dark Lord, He Who Must Not Be Named, Tom Riddle, Ralph Fiennes.
Traits: Bitchin' snake familiar, Near immortality due to splitting his soul, uh... cool eyes?

George W. Bush
AKA: Dubbyuh, Bushy, Bushy junior.
Traits: Horrible public speaking skills, inheriting the uncanny ability from his father to bring war to America, funny, sticky-outty ears.

I am the founder of the Dark Lord's union, PH34R MY 1337 H4xx0RZ $K!LLZ

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herps

Another word for reptiles or amphibians, so you don't have to say that large phrase. Listen, which is easier?

"Man, let's go to florida, there's a ton of reptiles and amphibians down there."

"Man, let's go to florida, there's a ton of herps down there."

MUCH easier. Although some illiterates and dyslexics think that "herps" is another word for "herpes", it isn't. Singularly, herp. Derived from the greek word that means "things that crawl."

"Yeah, he keeps herps."

"Herps make kickass pets."

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A Series of Unfortunate Events

- The Neutral Side -
A series of books. There's approximately 12 of them, thinks I.

- The Good Side -
Only thing I can think of is that we got a Jim Carrey movie out of it.

- The Bad Side -
Boring, bland, shitty, dreary, read only by goths and emos, written by a man with a sexual etish involving having his real name hidden from the public, and not even playing himself in the movie of his first three books.

Put down that dreary shit, and pick up Hiero's Journey.

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you know who

The Dark Lord, y'know, the one who doesen't have a kickass mace and a ring fetish...

"You know, I see the oppurtunity for a union here..." - Lord Voldemort (AKA "You Know Who", or "The Dark Lord") to Sauron (AKA "The Dark Lord") and Darth Vader (AKA "The Dark Lord")

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poutine

Here, this is from a Canadian. This is what poutine is.

Take a potatoe. Cut it into thing rods. Deep-fry it. Pour hot turkey gravy, (Yes, turkey, Quebec, the province next to mine, is unsuitable for bovine farming, although there are some pockets here and there,) on the deep-fried potatoe-sticks (fries). Add some white cheddar cheese curds, let the curds melt, or pop a few in your mouth. Eat with a fork.

There you go.

You Americans don't know what you're missing.

"My caf serves poutine."

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kill bill

A movie made soley for the wapanese, and responsible for the criminal overhyping of the katana.

But still a damn good movie. Uma Thurman kills people. Lots of people.

"I watched Kill Bill, and I ALMOST started to like katanas. Almost."

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lycanthrope

1. In folklore, any human that can, while being touched by the light of the full moon, can turn into an animal, or animal/human hybrid. They can be evil, like werewolves, or good, like werebears.

The original werewolf legend was that you sold your soul to Satan, and he gave you a wolf-fur belt or cape, that when worn, would turn you into a wolf. NOT a hybrid. In folklore, running into a rye field would save you from a werewolf, because rye is a holy grain eaten by monks. Killed by silver. Supposed identifying marks include unibrows, index-finger as long as the middle finger, pointed nails, and stale breath.

2. A much better monster than vampires, which are stupid overrated goth pussies. See pussy. A werewolf is stronger, faster, more resilient than a vampire, and a hell of a lot cooler.

The dude's a lycanthrope, seriously. Lookit how he always disappears every full moon.

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