lounging

sitting on a bean bag chair, naked, eating cheetos

Phone rings
Man 1: hello
Man 2: what are you doing?
Man 1: just lounging.
Man 2: me too.

83👍 32👎

wompus

the most hideous creature ever. Usually preying on the weak and inebriated individual with beer goggles on. You can find one at your local pub and usually around 7am in the morning wandering the streets looking for one last "kill" before day break.

Man 1: What happened to Joe?
Man 2: I think that wompus got him.
Man 1: OH SHIT!

Woman: "Hey baby. Do you come here often?"
Man: "Get out of my face, WOMPUS!"

64👍 43👎

hot pocket

name for a pastry that took after the pop tart. except it is filled with nasty meat. It can only be served 2 ways;
1. Warm outside, frozen inside.
2. boiling lava hot, will destroy your mouth.
usually given to patients suffering from constipation.

Hey Travis, would you like a hot pocket?
NO!

1081👍 801👎