fat joe

Fat Joe is the only non-black person in the universe who isn't called a racist by saying "muh niggas". Fat Joe is the love child of Porky Pig and Jennifer Lopez. He is perhaps the ugliest human alive, yet we love him because he is obese... as long as he's at a safe distance from us and our dinner plates.

"I can't look at Fat Joe because it makes me want to yank my eyes out and rub icy hot on my crotch"
or
"Fat Joe is SOOOO cute! I'd totally fuck him, hes a teddy bear!"

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Sessoms

Sessoms Nautical Gifts - Located in Sea Isle City, New Jersey. A whimsical store full of knick-knacks and mini sea-shells that look like trix brand cereal. A hot spot where geriatrics and rowdy teens can get together in peace. The aisles are overflowing with the crap they sell. Sessoms can never be destroyed because it is built with the power of love.... and really hardcore asbestos.

"Hey Megan and Greg, where should we get Joe's shotglass?"
"How 'bout SESSOMS NAUTICAL GIFTS? It's full of grand trinkets and miscellaneous potpourris!"
"Okee-Dokee!!! derp!"

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Rob Schneider

The greatest Jewish comedian alive? Uh, quite possibly! Not... Uh derp!

"Heh-heh, Rob Schneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now, Rob Schneider is -- A STAPLER! And he's about to find out -- that being a stapler -- is harder than it looks! Rob Schneider is -- THE STAPLER! Rated PG-13."

"Heh-heh, Rob Schneider is a Wall Street executive, with everything going for him. Only problem is -- he's about to become -- A CARROT! It's 24-carrot comedy! Rob Schneider is -- A CARROT! Rated PG-13."

"Heh-heh, Rob Schneider, derp dee derp! Derp dee derpittee derpee derp! Until one day, a derpa derpa durba derp! Derp dee derp, -- da teetley tum! From the creators of -- DER -- and -- TUM TA TITTALY TUM TERPA DERP, Rob Schneider is -- DA DERP DEE DERP DA TEETLEY DERPEE DERPEE DUMB. Rated PG-13."

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Fawa

A term used by Slut A to Slut B, referring to a battle royale. Normally when Slut A beleives that Slut B has gotten pregnant by Slut A's white trash boyfriend and she would like to have a brawl in the school gymnasium. Originated in 2004 in a high school cafeteria.

"I want my Fawa, Bitch"

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secret greetings

Said in a low quiet voice whilst you mabate. Your hand must be playing pocket pull or else it is no longer secretive. This phrase is derived from greetings, a popular slogan of slick hipster, Mr. Dente.

"SECRET GREETINGS" splat!
~OR~
"I played secret greetings while the music teacher played a movie in class," said C. S.

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Hurricane Schwartz

1. Meteorologist on the Delaware Valley's channel 10 NBC news. He makes promotional commercials featuring his mom and he enjoys a super silly bow tie now and again... or everyday.

2. Someone who makes up innaccurate information for a living, while looking like a douche doing it.

1. Hurricane Schwartz just made a cheeky joke about precipitation. Oh Hurricane!

2. Meteorologists, lawyers, and catholic priests are all considered hurricane schwartzes

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Golden Crust

1. Jamaican restaurant franchise found all over the world. (Sometimes called the Krusty Krab)
2. Reffering to an eatery in south Philly that you will not be returning to at a later date due to the bulletproof glass they serve you from and the fact that the food tastes like human feet.
3. A meeting house for murderers, rapists, and the crazy homeless.

1. I love eating the jerk chicken at the Golden Crust
2. Dude, I think someone jerked off on my chicken from the Golden Crust
3. Brian and I tried to contain ourselves while at the Golden Crust from laughing at the large black man singing "The freaks come out at night"

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