Masturbation Nation

it's the use of pretty and/or sexy people to induce the public into an idiot stare and ignore the big important problems that affect their lives. The viewers get orgasmic from what they see.

Television, newspapers, Internet articles, magazines and other outlets often use pictures of beautiful people to promote ideas and to sell products. Now in articles concerning lovely stars on the Net people put on comments like cougar, MILF, I'd do her or I'd hit it etc. TV news, movies, music and other means of entertainment often use women who have sex appeal but no intelligence to manipulate your fantasies. Examples:

1. I was in a bar and the TV (set on MTV2) played a Spice Girls video. All the other guys gawked at it even though the Girls had no musicality whatsoever and the song was crap.

2. Bob Dole was in a Pepsi ad where he admired a certain talentless diva on his TV. Dole has an honorable enough track record but this was quite unbecoming of him, this ad had no class at all.

3. American Idol often features PYTs that can't sing to save their lives. And then there's Paula Abdul who does have some talent...

4. It's common to see pretty news reporters who report awful events with a smile. Then the news crew may slip in unimportant stories about some dumb diva getting her head shaved. Then there's a BRIEF report on war and recession then it's back to the cutesy-wutsey stuff. Then after some time passes families lose sons and fathers to combat, people lose jobs, careers, homes, freedom, individuality, their souls and money.

Then one day people look around and the fog begins to lift. More shillmeisters crawl out from under the woodwork and some hate groups appear from under the rocks. The public has been deceived. Thieves have pulled out the rug from under the people of a Masturbation Nation.

4. Hit you in a soft place with sentimental ease.
They know all the fantasies that you romance to.
Watch her every move
SUPERCONDUCTOR.

RUSH

5. Whatever happened to equality of the sexes? It's a masturbation nation.

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American Idol

a really overhyped bad show, where pretty boys and PYTs get their famous 15 minutes attempting to sing on TV and in most cases, prove that they have absolutely no talent whatsoever. The whole contest is rigged up, the lousiest contestants are purposely kept in the contest for a period of time just to rile up viewers' passions to motivate them to call up and say that the lousy contestant sucks big time. Those who do have any measure of talent at all, winner or not, sometimes get a recording contract and are set up with hack songwriters and producers who put together the "Idol"s first album, which is a pile of trash - IOW, whatever talent there may be is completely wasted. American Idol sucks.

American Idol is a lot like Star Search, a "talent search" TV program of the Eighties that seemed to have all the chumps performing on it.

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seinfeld

a hilarious comedy TV show about "nothing". It ran from 1990 to 1998. The main star was comedian Jerry Seinfeld, who is good at his profession. However Michael Richards, who starred as across-the-hall neighbor Cosmo Kramer was getting the lion's share of the applause and laughs until the show producers de-emphasized him in the 1996 - 1997 season, when the show's quality dropped and it just wasn't funny anymore. The series finale was sadistic and unfunny. Still, the first six seasons were great. TV hasn't been as much fun since that time.

Seinfeld comes on twice an evening on the local CW channel on week nights. Usually it's a major hoot.

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00s

The numerals spell it all. Zero economic opportunity after college, zero sence in the general public, cultural zeroes, zero understanding and tolerance, near zero entertainment, politicians with zero intelligence and zero scruples, hysteria, panic, hatred and witch hunt frenzy stirred up by political cretins and a sensationalistic zero IQ media (esp. TV news). It's the Decade of Duh.

1. 1999 turns into 1984 (the novel). Fanatics attack on 9/11 and a great panic ensues. Armchair warriors see war on TV 24/7. Fundie fanaticism (Christian and Muslim) flowers. Meanwhile the economy tanks and the U.S. Constitution is used as toilet paper. Talking heads on TV toss in trashy celebrity stories to distract viewers. This turns America into a Masturbation Nation.

2. Reality TV becomes the opiate of the masses.

3. Anybody who stands near a flag, pretends to pray in public, holds up a cross, talks of "family values" or boasts of kickin' ass is venerated by the masses.

NBC reporter: Mr. Bush, who is your favorite philosopher?

W: Uhhhh - Jesus Christ!

*BING*BING*BING*BING*BING*

4. Rock'n'roll is long dead by 2000. However, some newer bands that recently released albums like *Stella, Spinerette, the Plasticines, Datarock and the Ravionettes hint that rock may be coming back to life as this ugly decade ends. Lord I hope so.

5. Let's be honest. How many females have become famous for their intelligence or talents in anything during the past 10 years? Cross your legs, shake your ass, put on a seductive "fuck-me-honey" air about you. Then you're a star. It's the Decade of Dumb Ditzy Dolls. The Season of the Bitch. Whatever happened to gender equality and respect?

6.This nightmarish decade of lying, corruption, hate, arrogance, neglect and stupidity - the 00s - I AIN'T GONNA MISS IT. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

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offspring

1. child, descendent

2. a poser band that thinks they're punk but are not. Punk is more than a music style and the Offspring just ain't got it.

1. Drew Barrymore is an offspring of the famous Barrymore acting family.

2. Geek: I'm really punk. I like the Offspring and fucking Green Day.

Punk: Good Lord!

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New Jersey

the home state of one of the greatest troubadours of rock'n'roll - Bruce Springsteen!

Also the state name is the name of a 1988 Bon Jovi album.

The first time I ever saw the Atlantic Ocean (and waded in it) was at Seaside Heights, New Jersey. I was 15 years old at the time.

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suicide blonde

1. a woman whose hair is bleached blonde due to coloring treatments from peroxide in a bottle. She has to maintain the bleaching periodically but her darker hair roots may be prominent anyway. The term "suicide blonde" is a play on "dyed/died by her own hand", ya dig?

2. a dance-able yet still major ass-kicking hit song by Australian rockers INXS. It hit the Top 10 all around the world in late summer and during the autumn of 1990. It has some wicked harmonica playing. Great stuff.

1. Deborah Harry, Courtney Love, Vicki Peterson, Marilyn Monroe, Samantha Fox, Cameron Diaz, and others are not natural blondes. They are suicide blondes.

2. My ex-girlfriend Susan is a suicide blonde.

3. You want to make her
Suicide Blonde
Love devastation
Suicide Blonde
Yeea-eeaahh!!!

- INXS

RIP Hutch. You were one of a kind but we need more cool people like you more now than ever!

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