Jeff Dunham

the ventriquolist who created Achmed the dead terrorist shown on YouTube and some American TV show

"Who created that funny video?"
"You mean Achmed the dead terrorist?"
"Yeah."
"Oh that was a Jeff Dunham one."

76👍 89👎

Mental Health Hotline

an answering machine listing mental problems and what button to press or what to do usually contrary to what the problem is!

You have called the mental health hotline.

If you are dislexic, please ressp noe.
If you are retarded, push the pretty pink button.
If you have dillusions, hold on we are transferring your call to the mothership.
If you have autism, press the digit corresponding to the number of friends you have.
If you are schizophrenic, wait here and the small voice will tell you what to do.
If you have ADD, nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You are a disgrace to humanity. Bring it on in our office. Press 2 for the location!
If you have aspergers, 10001110101110101001.
If you have low self-esteem, please call again. All the operators are busy.

18👍 18👎

penis-breath

A: (noun) A girl who frequently gives guys blow jobs. This is the literal meaning for penis-breath.

B: (adj) To have smelly breath so that people sitting around you back away from you

C: (noun) An out-of-the-blue insult, for example calling someone a bitch or a dickhead.

A: *sexual tone*
"Hey, how would you like to come to my place tonight?"
"Errr..."
"Don't worry. I don't have penis-breath."

B: *whispering*
"His breath stinks! Let's just go now."
"Well there really is no point in sitting next to that penis-breath."

C: "Why didn't you come and meet me after school you penis-breath?"
"Oh sorry my bitchy English teacher gave me a detention."

23👍 14👎

lolz

(verb) A double slang term of lol, however adding some emphasis on it, lolz is actually a sign that instead of lazily typing lol that the person genuinely finds your comment funny.

An Internet Slang root; lol

Random1: i hate that new kid he is such an ass-wipe
Random2: i kno hes such an ass wipe that even toilet paper has him hanging on the wall
Random1: lolz

4👍 14👎

prepared nervousness

when you are waiting to do something with the sudden urge right before it happens to not do it

1)
"I really want to go to Dreamworld tomorrow, but I don't know about going on The Giant Drop."

"Don't worry. That's just prepared nervousness."

2)
"When Sam was about to kick Tim in the balls, I thought he was suffering from prepared nervousness."

Allah damn it!

used my muslims as a replacement to saying "god damn it" by christians

Christian person: Hahaha! I owned you at Call of Duty
Muslim person: Allah damn it!

39👍 34👎

yopefod

Abbreviation for YOung PEople's Fear Of Drugs. Also see groufe in general.

Yopefod is a term for when kids aged 12-15 are scared of growing up because of the stories they hear of postgraduates taking drugs and they don't want to be a hoon.

My friend was really not looking forward to a career. I think it was a case of yopefod.