black market

Refers to a illegal market; that is, a market in illegal (such as drugs or prostitution) or unregulated (such as cigarettes or prescription drugs) goods and services such that the buyer and seller are both violating the laws of the jurisdiction in which the trade happens.

Did you hear the RatShack manager down the street got arrested for selling black market radar detectors in Connecticut?

113👍 32👎

vein opener

A song, story, or other work of art so abjectly depressing that it makes you want to hide all the sharp objects.

I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to put Paula Cole's classic 90s vein opener "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?" on a mix for listening to in the car. Totally inappropriate.

single by choice

1. Gay and in the closet.
2. An utter tool, and incapable of getting laid in a woman's prison with a fistful of pardons.
3. Sincere, delusional, and very, very repressed.

So I went out to a bar last night and struck out with four different women. But it's okay, I'm single by choice.`

20👍 203👎

zucchini

A phallic green squash-like vegetable developed from a cross between a cucumber and a tribble. Reproduces by taking control of the mind of the grower and forcing them to give away mass quantities of fruit to people who already have too much zucchini to begin with.

Oh, no, here she comes with another bag of zucchini! Lock the door before she sneaks it into the house!

50👍 39👎

entertainment medicine

The specialty of doctors who manage the unusual conditions brought on by fame. Entertainment doctors are known for knowing exactly how much morphine to prescribe for a broken nail.

Anna Nicole's doctor specialized in entertainment medicine. I wonder if my insurance covers that?

2👍 3👎

Brown Line Express

1. A fast-moving, no-stops train on the Brown Line.
2. A gigantic turd that tears your sphincter to shreds on the way out. Often comes without warning. So called because of a faint resemblance to a speeding subway car.

Aw man. I had a Brown Line Express this morning. I looked in the toilet, and it was actually the size of my wrist.

4👍 3👎

Pat Tillman

An NFL player who went to war in Afghanistan before everyone who realized what a disaster it would be, and then died in a pointless friendly fire incident; a man of great courage and conviction, and very little faith.

"Is it true Pat Tillman was an atheist?"
"Well, he didn't go to church, but even if he was, does that make him any less of an American hero?

95👍 25👎