CDO

Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.

A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.

Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"

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wokewash

To shamelessly increase diversity, inclusion, and references to modern-day issues in a story to promote social justice. The opposite of whitewash.

Writer: “I’ve got a movie idea! Let’s do the moon landing, except all the astronauts are morbidly obese paraplegic non-binary Muslim Australian aboriginals!”

Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”

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barleywine

The greatest style of beer ever to grace the earth. Typically clocking in upwards of 8% ABV, this wine-strength beer is the motherlode of malty goodness, and is the preferred style of the highest echelon of cicerone s. There are two sub-styles, American and English, the former of which has more hop flavor and bitterness. As heavy hopping is appropriate in an IPA but destroys the pure heavenly flavor of this glorious beer style, a preference for American barleywine has been linked in scientific studies with brain damages, taste bud disorders, and early onset dementia. "Barleywine" is also generally considered to be a synonym of "life", thus giving rise to the common expression "Barleywine is life", or BiL for short.

Albert Einstein: "I just discovered the special theory of relativity, which Is the biggest breakthrough in theoretical physics in centuries. Also, I prefer American barleywine to English and hazy IPAs to barleywine in general."
Master cicerone: "Yeah, sorry to break it to you brah, but I think you may be mentally retarded."

from the gate

Since the beginning or from the start of something. Similar to from the get-go.

"Slow down baby / Let you know from the gate I don't go down lady"
- Fat Joe, "What's Luv"

Ted: "How long have you been living next to this gate?"
Will: "From the gate."
Ted: "So if I asked you where you were from, would you say you're from the gate?"
Will: "Hell yeah, I've been from the gate from the gate."

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Barry Bonds*

A baseball player who, as of the end of the 2007 season, had a record 762* home runs.

In 2007, Barry Bonds* hit his 756th* home run, passing Hank Aaron for the all time record*. He also holds the single season record* of 73* home runs. Previous single-season record-holders include Mark McGwire*, Roger Maris, and Babe Ruth.

Bob: "Barry Bonds in the 1990's was a hell of a player, wasn't he?"
Joe: "Yeah, but his numbers pale in comparison to what Barry Bonds* put up."
Bob: "Who's that?"
Joe: "You know, that guy on the Giants with a watermelon-sized head who set all those records*."

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WSOBP

An acronym for the World Series of Beer Pong, the world's largest beer pong/beirut tournament, held in Las Vegas in January of every year. WSOBP I was held in January 2006 and WSOBP V is planned for January 2010. WSOBP IV in 2009 attracted over 400 teams and several C-list celebrities.

While some amateurs lament the short tables, clear cups, non-standard rules, use of water in some cups, and lack of an elbow rule at this event, the best teams in the world generally take the rules as they are and show up every year with the hopes of being crowned world champions and winning the cash prize, which was $10,000 at WSOBP I, $20,000 at WSOBP II, and $50,000 ever since.

Frat beirut champ: "Chauffeuring the Fat Kid won WSOBP III, but I saw the video on YouTube and they lean way across the table. Leaning is so weak. I would kick their asses in a game with an elbow rule."
WSOBP player: "No you wouldn't. They're much better than you on any table with any rules. If you play them, let me know, because I've got $100 that says they sink your last cup before you even get to your first re-rack."

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complete the circuit

To drink while peeing.

(flush)
Phil: "Dude, you were in there forever! Did you just drop a deuce?"
Mike: "No, but I appreciate your interest in my bowel activity. I decided to take my 40 of Bud in there with me and complete the circuit. That shit is just like water - goes right through you. I must have been pissing for a solid 3 minutes without stopping!"
Phil: "Like water? Buttwiper pretty much IS water! Why are you drinking that horse piss instead of this awesome 90 Minute I've got?"
Mike: "Bad economy, man."

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