Rock Lee

A character from Naruto, the popular Anime & Manga series. Known for having only the discipline of Taijutsu & the drunken fighting style. The first person to actually successfully attack Garra of the Desert. Lee is also able to shoot lasers from his eyebrows & the his abilities comes from his bowl cut. Lee is the most popular Naruto character for African Americans to cosplay as.

Guy: Rock Lee, haven't you had enough training already?
Lee: If I can't brush my hair 300 times, I am set to go for 500 nostril flares. 214, 215, 216, 217--

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Megan Fox

A drugged up harpy and the acting equivalent to Ke$ha who somehow tranced into numerous alternate universes until she found the one that was able to land her in a life with other "a-list" actresses. Except there's something that's missing. Oh, right...talent. She never took any acting lessons or went to any talent schools or agencies. She can only run 2 miles per hour and just has a 3 inch vertical leap. Many were to believe she would be the one to captivate the box office. Well Michael Bay, you picked the wrong bitch and now it has costed us middle class people dearly. If Hollywood was the way it was 10 years ago, she would not make it. And what we heard from Transformers crew members and Mickey Rourke, she's unqualified to be acting. Unfortunately it doesn't matter, because she's set to kill a bunch of franchises in the future.

Film Agent: Well, you're just about set to be a big "star". Anything we need to know before we proceed?
Megan Fox: Well I got a lot of plastic surgery.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I can't read.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I'm a pot addict.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I got an inflated ego. Like I'm a real big bitch and I want to do things MY way, even if it would turn the whole project around. And I doubt I'll make any friends or be a great role model.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I intend to bring a weapon to one of my movies sets.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: Oh and I REALLY HATE acting.
Film Agent: That's 'kay. Is that it, otherwise congratulations YOU'VE MADE IT!!!

1198👍 434👎

Sportscenter

A daily block of mini sports soap operas packed into one hour. Programs listed in order and the length of the episodes vary:

Yankee Country
Manny Knows Best
The Favre Saga
The Misadventures of T.O.
Lebrontourage
The Red Sox Chronicles (or sometimes a rerun of Yankee Country)

repeat the cycle until 2PM EST.

And check this, they leave women doing the morning shift.

ESPN anchor: And still to come, we take a trip to Ben Roethlisberger's natural habitat at the Pittsburgh Zoo. Later, a rapper comes on stage! What the fuck does this have to do with sports? Who knows?! Don't tell us how to do our business, bitch! It's nawmally good!
Viewer: Man, even Sportscenter could use an offseason.

64👍 9👎

SportsCenter

A daily block of mini sports soap operas packed into one hour. Programming varies each day:

"Keeping Up With The Cowdashians" (Cowboys)
"Patriot Way" (Patriots/Tebow)
"The Quarterbachelor" (Jets)
"Total Dodgers" (Dodgers)
"Red Sock Mountain" (formerly titled "The Red Sox Chronicles")
"Lebrontourage" (Briefly known as "Erik's Angels" after LeBron joined Heat)
"Diary of A Mad Black Mamba" (Lakers)
"As The Club Turns" (Tiger Woods)
"All My Crashes" (Danica Patrick)
"Johnny Football" (this is actually a like short cartoon)
and of course the Emmy award winning "Yankee Country" (Yankees)

Notable defunct shows as followed (with possibilities of each returning not ruled out, obviously):

"Manny Knows Best" (Manny Ramirez)
"The Favre Saga" (Brett Favre)
"The Misadventures of T.O." (Terrell Owens)
"Everybody Hates Barry" (Barry Bonds)
"Ocho Cinco Numero Uno" (Chad Johnson)
"Clemonpatra" (Roger Clemons)
"One Life to Lin" (Jeremy Lin)

Viewer: PLEASE can you please cover some actual sports?
Anchor: I don't know what you're getting at. This isn't sports, it's SportsCenter.

14👍 1👎

greasemo

A dirty old man; A overgreased slice of pizza; An oil changing expert

"Help! This greasemo from the alley tried to grab me!"

"Eww! This slice is a greasemo! Get me a napkin or something!"

"Damn! That car oil was fast! You greasemos are alright!"

7👍 8👎

asterik

A justice server in the world of sports. Pretty much the greatest way to humiliate cheaters and thieves who have attempted to break records for nothing much in return.

Clear examples of the asterik:
16-0*
Barry Bonds 756 home run ball*
Marion Jones at the Sydney 2000 Olympics* (dq)

5👍 18👎

ton

a unit of weight for fat people

Why do you need a partner? You weigh like, more than 3 tons!

21👍 39👎