Turd of Shit

Something of such low quality, of such minisquel value, that it might in fact be the least significant item in the universe.

I bought a brand new Rolex Daytona online. I paid $5,000 for it. When I got it in the mail, I opened the box, and it turned out to be a turd of shit. I hate myself.

7👍 3👎

Worry Wart

AKA Worrywart - Someone who is always worrying about everything, whether it is a big deal or unimportant.

A Worry Wart "I don't know guys, I don't think we should go to Burger King, I've heard bad things about that place."
Someone Else "Shut the fuck up and stop being such a worry wart.

95👍 30👎

Unthaw

To freeze. Often used as a synonym for thaw or defreeze, although this is hideously incorrect. It actually means the opposite, when taken literally. Don't argue it. You are wrong.

Pete "The pizza was frozen so I let it unthaw for half an hour."
Willy "Get the fuck out of here you hick. And for the record, it's 'thaw'."

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Funnies

The only part of a newspaper worth looking at. Located beside or near the crossword puzzles and cryptoquote. Famous funnies include Garfield, Family Circus, Andy Capp, and Peanuts.

Paper Boy - "Here's your paper, Susan."
Oliver (to Susan) - "Would you mind passing me the funnies once you're done?"

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Green Tongue Plague

A hangover the morning after drinking green beer on St. Patrick's Day.

"Hey man! Did you have fun on St. Patty's Day?"
"I sure did bro. Me and the boys were HAMMERED!! I woke up naked on the 18th with the Green Tongue Plague!

3👍 3👎

220

Slang for the Canadian public intoxication fine. The fine is of $220, and can substitute for the fine. Can also be used if you are walking someone where intoxicated.

"Stop chasing those children Mike! You're gonna get a 220!"

"Our sober drive home just bailed on us. Wanna 220 it back to my place later?"

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CheapES

A GPS navigator that doesn't work as well as you had hoped. It will not recognize what rode you are on, if it is not a main road, and will not recognize certain house numbers or stores.

I really should have sprang an extra $50 and gotten a real GPS instead of this crappy old CheapES.

11👍 1👎