Random
Source Code
Random
After receiving a blumpkin, in one lightning fast motion, hop up and shove the persons head into the shit filled toilet resembling a game of apple bobbing.
Dude: My chick gave me a blumpkin last night.
Friend: Did you also jam her face into your shit and make her go crapple bobbing?
When your only goal is to shoot your hot load all over the face of the person you just had sex with (in the missionary position) and you succeed.
Steve pulled out of Jenny just in time to cover her face in his man slime. Mission accumplished!
The process of when the semen from a freshly ejaculated penis never actually separates itself from the semen in the urethra, leaving the portion of semen that escaped dangling loosely in space and unable to be claimed as a "cum-shot." This is common with men who are dealing with dehydration or the common cold.
Man: Dude the weirdest thing happened to me last night.
Friend: Go on...
Man: I was drilling this chick and pulled out to spray her in the eyeball and my load never left my dick!
Friend: Ahhhh the ole Colorado Cliffhanger!
The act of shooting a hefty cumshot across the room and getting some on the tv and passing out before cleaning, resulting in a nice jizz crust cover that would need to be chiseled out if left long enough
T-Rex: bro, I saw the best porn last night. Sware my load hit the fucking ceiling fan and splattered everywhere.
Big Easy: remind me to never visit you. Did you clean the tv?
T-Rex: I didnât clean Shit. No clue where it went.
Big Easy: here (hands over a jack hammer) you will need this. Take these also (hands him 4 beers), have fun ice scraping.
When you havenât seen your significant other in a long time so you wait for him/her with open arms and your cock flopping around in the wind waiting to release the build up of splooge all over their face or tits.
Tyrant: I hate the fact that my girlfriend lives on campuss cause I never bang and always have to wack my lil pecker.
Big Easy: when she cums home you should throw her a nice welcum reception and shower her with tiny little pearly white gifts!
3👍 2👎
The act of murdering the nostrils of many people in a crowded area by placing a big gulp filled with asparagus piss and a frozen shit log in a low key spot and allowing the musTURD gas to thaw. If done in an enclosed area, should result in roughly 11-19 people throwing up in less than an hour after placement.
Tyrant: What you do this weekend?
Big Easy: I am going to hell. I assassurinated like 50-60 people at Toy Story 4 yesterday.
Tyrant: The fuck is that?
Big Easy: I placed a 17 inch deuce into a 42 oz big gulp slushy full of asparagus piss and placed right under the seat in the third row. It was horrific. So much puke. It was all fun and games until 6 year old's were puking on their infant siblings, and the parents were pushing chunks from the sight and smell of it all. Gonna be hard to whack off tonight.
The act of putting your penis into your own ass (or vagina in the rare case your are born with both) and pounding away against your own will.
Man: (sobbing) I got moleincested last night.
Friend: What does that mean? What happened?
Man: Well, last night I was really drunk and passed out. Woke up to me drilling my own asshole.
5👍 2👎