ticket little

A super cautious driver. Drives well below speed limit, comes to full stop, takes no risk of getting a ticket.

Likely received one lately - drives in fear of another one. Derived from "Chicken Little" -- fabled fowl who feared
the "Sky is falling".

Look at that slow poke driver. Ticket Little.

shoebox funeral

Burial of the victim of a fire, explosion, massive crash, which leaves so little remains that fit in a shoebox.

So little left of the victim he could have had a shoebox funeral.

picking shit with the chickens

Reduced to meager circumstances. Scratching out a subsistence living. Attempting to make do with minimum resources. Dumpster diving.

"Keep showing up late for work and you'll get fired and be picking shit with the chickens."

18👍 6👎

dancing on the carpet

Appearing before The Boss' desk, squirming, while attempting to explain a failure or transgression on your part.

The Boss had him dancing on the carpet for that screw-up.

9👍 1👎

head up and locked

Gross fool whose head is tightly wedged up his ass hole. Oblivious to reality.

Joe just doesn't get it. Head up and locked.

feathering your nest

Placing lengths of toilet paper on the seat before mounting, to ensure none of your bare ass contacts it.

Never sit on a public toilet without feathering your nest.

2👍 2👎

he would fuck up a wet dream

A person so incompetent he couldn't even adequately perform a natural function.

Don't trust George with that job. He would fuck up a wet dream.

32👍 3👎