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MTV

A tv chanel that everybody loves to hate for "being corporate." It should be noted that those people are in shitty ass bands that would sell their souls to get on MTV and get a recording contract from a label that people actually care about. Features some of the worlds hottest chicks if you exclude that skanky washup britney spears and christina aguilewhateverthefuck. Imortalized by the line "I Want My MTV."

Nerd- I hate mtv, die die die.
Me- Dumbass, you just are bitter because a)your shitty band sucks so hard recording execs are afraid to touch it and b)the gorgeous girls on it remind you how sad your fat pimply pale "girl"friend is and coz 50 cent reminds u that u are asexually shaped? And if you don't like pop or blink182-i don't either-change the chanel or turn off the tv. geez, what a fuckwad.

by jonzo the weasel January 22, 2006

118πŸ‘ 656πŸ‘Ž


half nerd

Someone who, despite possessing physical characteristics and intellect of a nerd, has nicer personality, better hygeine, fewer enemies, and better grades because of their focus on school instead of the internet, sci-fi fan clubs, the lord of the rings, or matheletes. They rarely have close friends, but are respected by most and tend to be gennerally pleasant.

Bill Gates, Alan Greenspan, Warren Buffet, Albert Einstein, and this one kid in my biology class are all half nerds.

by jonzo the weasel January 10, 2006

25πŸ‘ 359πŸ‘Ž


Tommy Hilfiger

A fashion designer who is very rich and apparently crazy. At Rosario Dawson's birthday party he started a fight with Axl Rose for no apparent reason

Axl could've kicked tommy hilfiger's scrawny ass

by jonzo the weasel July 30, 2006

53πŸ‘ 398πŸ‘Ž


Pretzel

A deadly threat to the nation. It was sent by unknown parties to assasinate George W. Bush. The attempt was nearly successful, but a bystander was cunning enough to employ the heimlich maneuvre, foiling the conspiracy. The said pretzel is now being held in maximum security in guantanamo bay as an enemy combatant.

It appears that agent pretzel has failed his mission.

by jonzo the weasel July 17, 2006

33πŸ‘ 385πŸ‘Ž


Jesus

An ancient Philosopher and possibly savior who had a pretty decent message while alive- be nice, forgive, help those less fortunate than you. Very little is known about this man's personal life because he never wrote down anything so far as we can tell, and the four friends of his who wrote stuff about him did so decades after he whipped, humiliated, stabbed, nailed to a cross shaped object, and eventually died from the agony. Had twelve close followers one of whom betrayed him, plus a whole pack of deciples including his mother and an ex-prostitute who may or may not have been his wife. Actually may have also been attempting to start a jewish rebellion against the roman imperialist dictators, though this was probablye editted out of the scritures to make Romans convert. His early followers were a pretty nice bunch cosidering that they were skinned alive, tied to poles and shot full of arrows, whipped, stoned, crucified upsidedown, and made into human cat food in the colliseum with lions. His later followers sadly were homicidal nuts and began slaughtering innocent Jews and Muslims, and occasionally each other. This started to change around the 1900's, and was almost perfectly reformed by the 1970's with Jesus Christ Superstar when sadly a group of vile liars calling themselves undamentalists distorted his image into a hate mongering fanatic, causing comunist govts. like North Korea to ban him and turning many people away from him. The fact that some of his closest followers raped altar servers and that his name was attached to Jacko's "Juice" probably pissed him off. If alive today, he'd be chillin in jamaica with stoners or playing in the NBA as Steve Nash and MLB as Johnny Damon. Oh wait, he is. And he'd shut up Creed for good.

Jesus- Do unto others as you would have them do unto your self
Crackpot Televangelist- Um, that means give me your social security money. And while you are at it, lynch a gay man or two. yeah, that's it.

by jonzo the weasel January 22, 2006

98πŸ‘ 490πŸ‘Ž


axl rose

A great frontman for legendary rock band Guns n' Roses. Thanks to his perfectionism and insufferable ego, he is the only member of the original band left in it. He also fucked the extremely hot Stephanie Seymour a bunch of times, though unfortunately for him his obnoxious personality messed that up too.

Despite personal problems, Axl Rose is one of the greatest rock stars ever.

by jonzo the weasel June 4, 2006

47πŸ‘ 373πŸ‘Ž


Bon Jovi

New Jersey-based glam metal band. They aren't the most adventurous musicians, but hey, neither were AC/DC, and they still sound good. One of the few bands made up of nice guys to be still called metal. Their lineup is basically the same after 20 years, there have been no arrests, no pyrotechnics disasters (see Metallica and Great White), no stadium riots (see Guns n' Roses), no trips to rehab (see Ozzy Osbourne), no car crashes that killed other rock stars (see Motley Crue). Also, for some reason I can't understand, I can't imagine them being from anywhere but New Jersey. All in all, a solid band with a good career. Unquestioned masters of the power ballad.

Axl Rose was definitely the better frontman than Jon Bon Jovi, but there's no question about which one I'd rather get hang out with.

by jonzo the weasel September 12, 2006

176πŸ‘ 488πŸ‘Ž