gorilla

The big goon you take along when you think the other party may want to get rough (or when you are trying to intimidate them). Large, ugly, and not prone to smiling, at least not nicely. Sometimes heard as gorilla up.

I gotta get my security deposit back from that asshole, he was supposed to split it to all the roommates, so I need to take along a gorilla.

If you really need to talk to that one, better gorilla up. Sam'll go along if you ask him.

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looking for the sixteenth minute

The situation in which a one-time, flash in the pan celebrity is desperately or pathetically trying to get back into the news and gossip, if only for a moment. Comes from the "fifteen minutes of fame" phrase.

Kato Kaelin is still looking for the sixteenth minute.

monkey mind

Meditation term for a mind that refuses to be quiet and concentrated, so that your meditation is interfered with by your attention constantly finding new objects, like a monkey roaming through your brain.

If I concentrate very quietly I am sure I can think of an example, such as I wonder if Sandra wears panties in the summer?, no I mean an example of monkey mind, for which I need to concentrate like lemon juice concentrate god that's the best stuff for making lemonade to families with dependent children like monkeys infesting the mind and asking questions authority and authorizes questions come on there has to be an example of monkey mind your own business monkey business suit monkey suit

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monkey fuck

Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it." Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident. It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.

"I hear load-in took a while."

"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."

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cinderella fuck

In the ancient days of the 1970s, when dinosaurs ruled the earth and men were tiny squeaking rodents (not all that much has changed), a cinderella fuck was getting intercourse from a girl in her dorm room before the curfew when men were thrown out of the women's dorms. If you were really lucky, she'd want to get started early, but a lot of women preferred to start the cinderella fuck at about ten minutes to midnight. The opposite of a "rule of half past four."

"So you getting any?"

"I got about five minutes of a cinderella fuck before the PA announced 'all men off the floor.'"

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mini-slut

Teacher slang for middle school girls who dress trampy, claim more sexual experience than they really have, and loudly discuss everyone else's clothing, popularity, etc.; mini-sluts tend to intimidate boys their own age but are laughed at by anyone older than they are, especially the high school boys they try to attract. They usually know everything you can learn in a chatroom or by watching television, and nothing else. Noted for their diva-ish tantrums and rigid enforcement of whatever they think the social rules should be.

Teacher 1: Did you have some trouble with that mini-slut Kelly at lunch?

Teacher 2: Yeah, she announced that Wendy dressed like a fucktard virgin and slapped her, because Wendy was wearing a skirt and sweater instead of a belly shirt and pube jeans. Then all the other mini-sluts jumped on Wendy. I think they just wanted to get sent home during high school lunch hour so they could walk by the high school.

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The Hound

The Greyhound bus line, especially when used for long distances.

I was too broke for the plane anyway, and didn't want to have to mail all my gear to myself, so I took the Hound.