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Rock music, with lyrics about christianity, Jesus, and God.
It's taking all my willpower to make an unbiased definition about Christian Rock, one of the concepts I hate. No offense, I just don't believe in most of any abrahamic religion or ones dealing with the supernatural. I'm pretty sure the above definition is accurate though.
153👍 92👎
A genre made up for crap bands like Underoath, Project 86, and Kutless. Despite popular belief, their lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with God. The bands may have one song that makes a brief reference to Jesus but that is all. This is just an excuse to sell their horrible, uninspired music to dumbassed youth group skaters for $18.95 an album at a Christian book store.
Hey, man! I was skating to Underoath yesterday! Their music makes me love Jesus so much! I love christian rock!
168👍 114👎
A sub-genre of rock that will always be second-rate due to atheists' superior headbanging skills.
Guy 1: Hey wanna listen to some Christian rock?
Guy 2: Sorry, dude, atheists are just too good at headbanging.
Guy 1: How come they're so good?
Guy 2: Christians believe in standing upright at all times, like Jesus.
Guy 1: Jesus wasn't standing upright when he was dragging his cross.
Guy 2: Yeah, well, look what happened to him.
Guy 1: So you're saying that lack of faith in a divine power will make one more hardcore?
Guy 2: For a beginner you're pretty good at disbelief. Kudos.
46👍 29👎
bland, generic lyrics aimed to brainwash youth partnered with equally bland tunes and instrumentals. it is successful only because the record executives and right wing christian leaders saw that they had enough bible-humping teenagers to make a fat profit off of.
NO ONE, and i mean NO ONE with good music taste, regardless of their religious persuasion, will be caught dead listening to christian rock, or christian music of any kind for that matter.
because, you just cant make "oh jesus, my lord and saviour, my one and only, thank you" into a good song.
it just wont happen.
cool kid: whatre you listening to?
lame wannabe christian kid: its Thank you Lord, the latest CD from God Rules, this amazing christian rock band. its really good, theyre so talented.
cool kid: go fuck yourself.
lame wannabe christian kid: its because i'm a christian, isnt it?!?
cool kid: no, its because youre an idiot. bye.
120👍 93👎
Music like rock, but centers on praising jesus or god or whoever the hell compels people to write songsof this nature. Starting out like a Bon Jovi ballad, songs from this genre usually tricks listeners into thinking it is regular rock, but halfway through the song the band breaks into prayer. Most listeners feel betrayed by this sudden change in lyrics and change to a different song of a different genre. The rest saw it coming and enjoy listening to it for some reason. If this depicts you, you are either an old person, or are to sheltered to know what good music sounds like.
what a christian rock song may sound like...
"I woke up in the morning
and I got myself some oatmeal
and I put some raisins on it
and
CHRIST IS GODDDDDD
CHRIST IS GODDDDDD
CHRIST IS GODDDDDD"
Mike Birbiglia, The Oatmeal Song
37👍 26👎
an irratating noise that buzzes in your head forever and ever that makes you feel numb and psychotic.
After an hour of listening to Christion Rock, Cassie tried to tear her ears off with a knife... yeah its that bad!
87👍 80👎