Theoretical Whore

A person who likes everybody but can;t get a single one.

"Yo, you see that ugly girl over there? She's a theoretical whore."

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Theoretical Testicles

The balls that women freeze off when they climb into cold waters. Women don't have testicles so we need something to freeze off besides our breasts because that would be saddening for both sexes. The moment when you get your groin area submerged into the water and you must stop and breath those are your theoretical testicles falling off.

When she cannon balled into the water, you could see her theoretical testicles shrivle and fall off.

Theoretical Physicist

Contrary to the other definition, a theoretical physicist is actually a masochist who spends years trying to figure out some shit that mankind won't find useful until long after he's dead. More likely though, he will be left as a fleeting memory in the minds of apathetic and high high school students.

Student 1: duude. relativity n shit is weird as fuck. i dont know who made it, porbably some theoretical physicist
Student 2: I think it was Newton

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Theoretical Penis

Word used to describe something, without making you look like a homo, and people don't assume you know what penis tastes like.

penis can be replaced with dick or any other sex organ.

This cake tastes like theoretical dick

Your momma's lips tasted like theoretical penis

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theoretical slut

Someone who dreams about banging everyone but won't actually do it.

"He is so hot."
-"Oh please, we know you won't actually make a move on him!"
"Yeah but I think about it!!"
-"Gosh, you're such a theoretical slut!"

Theoretical Extraphysics

Theoretical Extraphysics is a branch of extraphysics that employs mathematical models and abstractions of extraphysical objects and systems to rationalize, explain and predict extranatural phenomena. This is in contrast to experimental extraphysics, which uses experimental tools to probe these phenomena.

"Theoretical Extraphysics shows that extraphysics is not about mystical fun and similars, extraphysics is about tons of mathematics and logics for find about extraphysical phenomena and even about extraphysical existence and life."

"Theoretical Extraphysics and Experimental Extraphysics shows extraphysics is just another area of physics, an area that slowly will be accepted inside the physical research and studies, and it is gonna be amazing, because the search for extraphysical existence and life will start and it will be amazing."

Theoretical Anarchist

A theoretical anarchist is a person who believes that anarchism would be a good idea in theory, but believes that in the current world it wouldn’t work.

“You’re an anarchist?!”
“No, I’m a theoretical anarchist, anarchism would be a good idea but it wouldn’t work in the current political/social environment”