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santa claus is a cheap bitch who put me on the naughty list
3👍 1👎
When you have a lot of weed and you don't want to smoke it in any usual way, you throw lot of weed in your fireplace, while your mate is up, on the roof and he's getting one fucking hot shot right from the chimney.
Pete: Hey, mate where´s Kevin?
Dave (while throwing the weed into fireplace, grinning): He´s on the roof getting santa claused right now.
4👍 2👎
1. A fake Christmas from the north pole who make toys for good boys and girls with his elves and wife.
2. A Turkish man named St. Nicholas who made little trinkets for poverty-stricken children and put the toys in the shoes they left on their doorsteps.
3. A lie parents tell their children so they don't cause trouble all year but'll never go to the 'jects.
4. The guy at the mall and the kids take a picture with some desperate fat guy who probably is a drunk who abuses his wife and hates kids.
1. "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
2.
3. Timmy, if you're good and quiet Santa Claus will get you that bike you want...and I can fuck Uncle Nick all year without you telling this time.
4. Ho!Ho!Ho...later...Fuckin' brats (chugs) this soup is cold bitch! (slaps wife).
29👍 34👎
A jolly old man who lives at the north pole with his wife and thousands of elves. He flies around the world on Christmas Eve delivering presents to good little girls and boys, but only when they're fast asleep. He also delivers presents to children on their birthdays, but only if they're on his VIP list.
Santa claus gave me a super ultra laser beam gun for my sixth birthday.
14👍 17👎
Big fat dressed up red guy. The american rip-off from the dutch 'sinterklaas'. He has been used by coca cola to market their product and now is one of the most important icons around christmas time. He is fat because he is set to american standards. Santa claus is sometimes refered to as Santa or the man who brings presents on christmas eve. Santa is believed to live on the north pole, but seen his enormous profits and exploitation of little people his second home is believed to be in india.
> Who's the fat guy exploiting those reindeers and little helpers?
< That's Santa Clause
23👍 46👎
A talking piece of poo who says: "Howdy Ho! Ho! Ho!" , as seen on South Park (those guys are so smart).
If you see santa claus floating in the toilet then be sure to flush it down so the next person doesn't have to see/look at it.
11👍 53👎
A red communist fat ass who doesn't know how to shave and owes me a pogo stick.
Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Me: There is nothing good about who you are or what you do.
276👍 71👎