Seat Cushion Hesitation

The reluctance to stand up at a sports event caused by the fear of changing the orientation of a perfectly positioned seat cushion.

Eli: That was a sick play. Chest bump!
Jake: Dude, it took me an hour to get comfortable.
Karl: Same here. I've got about six cushions in the perfect position.
Eli: You guys suck... Damn seat cushion hesitation.

22👍 14👎

Vaccine Hesitancy Is Healthy

When the decision to vaccinate or not is too important to be left in the hands of so-called health experts, university hospital professors and researchers, pharmaceutical firms, and politicians, who all have a vested interest in promoting vaccination, be it for herd immunity; economic recovery; vaccine diplomacy, supremacy, or nationalism; profiteering; popularity; or politics—their mantra is that the benefits of getting a shot outweigh the risks, whose short-term advice may not always be in the long-term health interest of the general public.

Just because a decent proportion of the population have been partially or fully vaccinated for whatever personal, selfish, or altruistic reasons, this doesn’t mean that others too should blindly or ritually follow suit, because groupthink or the “wisdom of the crowd” doesn’t always translate in all spheres of life, particularly when potential long-term adverse effects associated with nontraditional techniques of producing vaccines cannot be discounted—when vaccine hesitancy is healthy for those who won’t let themselves easily fall for, or be fooled by, any health expert’s recommendation.

67👍 126👎

Hesitant Friend Request

When you deleted someone from Myspace/Facebook etc. and then you go back later to add them, thinking "What if they never realized I deleted them? What will they think?"

Guy 1 - Dude, I met up with this hot chick I used to have on my myspace, but I deleted her cuz we never talked!

Guy 2- Aw no man, it's cool just send her a hesitant friend request, if she asks tell her you made a new account.

2👍 9👎

She who hesitates salivates

She who emphatically declines food when offered then later asks & complains when its all been eaten later salivates.

I ask my wife if she would like some chocolate and she declines, but is distraught later when it's all gone. I answer she who hesitates salivates.

2👍 3👎

I hesitate to articulate for fear that I may deviate from the true course of rectitude

I don't know. Literally. It means, I don't know.

Professor: Michael, what is the atomic weight of Uranium?
Michael: I hestiate to articulate for fear that I may deviate from the true course of rectitude.
Professor: What?
Michael: I don't know.

192👍 24👎

Hesitate

H.E.S.I.T.A.T.E. = Half Estimated Shitty Improvisation Taken Against Thoughtful Endeavor

Hesitate, and you get killed.

Homo Hesitation

When one hesitates to pee because to people are using a urinal but there is one in the middle. One does not want to use the middle one because it would be a little gay.

You walk into a restroom and there are two guys using urinals but there is one empty in the middle. Homo Hesitation is your thinking process.