wiper

Unit of measure of mess in an infant's diaper, described by the number of diaper wipes needed to clean the baby's bottom, e.g. one-wiper, two-wiper, three-wiper, etc. Typically used by new parents. (With experience, parents become more efficient at cleaning bottoms and use fewer wipes.)

Is your son eating well?
I think so, he had a ten-wiper this morning when we changed him.

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wiper

PG rated word for person who is an asswipe.

Harry Reid's public shit for brains lies make him a real wiper.

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wiper

A person who cannot do anything for themselves, including whiping their own butt.

We have a wiper at the counter that needs assistance.

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Jizz Wiper

One whose job it is to squeegee the cum streaks off the glass at a peepshow.

Glenn's job as a summer student was being a Jizz Wiper for $7.50 an hour.

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jism wiper

A person who performs the menial task of cleaning up semen from a booth in a hardcore sex club or strip venue.

see jizz mopper.

Amanda: "What did you say your dad does again?"
Doug Hardy: "He's a jism wiper at Club X in the city."
Amanda: *nods* "That's kinda cool."

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wiper-tempo

the way windshield wipers act like metronomes and can dangerously affect the speed at which people drive in the rain – i.e., increasing rainfall = increasing wiper speed = increasing vehicle speed.

There’d be way fewer accidents in the rain, if they’d reinvent windshield wipers, eliminating wiper-tempo.

kidney-wiper

The male sexual organ.

When encouraged to the necessary length, the aforementioned organ can be used for wiping the kidneys of any game bird*, preferably up the jacksie.

*Please note: game bird means a girl who is up for it, not a pheasant or moorhen.

'Hey darling, fancy sitting on my kidney-wiper?'

'I wouldn't mind wiping her kidneys!'