News

noun (usually used ironically)

Archaic: “new” information about the world at large. Often fact-based and relevant.

Current: Opinionated propaganda designed to obfuscate facts in favour of one political ideology or another. Also pointless information about prominent media figures.

“In today’s news, Donald Trump said something racist.”

“In today’s news, we should invade Iraq because they might have a nuke”

“In today’s news, Kylie Jenner almost named her child “Rose””

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is the new

A term that has grown from political correctness into a mehod to make the 'old lame' into 'new and cool'.

Grampa: I am so old!
Grandson: Come on, Gramps. 80 is the new 60.
Grampa: I wear a diaper and I'm blind!
Grandson: Ya' look great, though.

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new

when one trend has surpased another.

Didn't you hear? Gray is the new black

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NEWS

Nipple Erection Without Stimulation. See NHO

Dude... its cold outside. That chick has NEWS.

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new

an unknowing novice about a different concept.

"It's a new fashion trend mom. You don't know anything. You're so new."

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new

any word in a sentence whether it be adjective, noun, verb, or adverb

That new guy is so new, his newness reminds me of the newly washed new i was newing at earlier.

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sword new new

a Chinese internet slang equivalent to "嗦我的牛牛" (as a close homophone) meaning "suck my d*ck"

- Can you sword new new.
- Show show way!

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