11:59PM

A teacher's way of saying "midnight" because they want you to turn in your work "TODAY and TODAY ONLY". NO LATE WORK.

Teacher: I want y'all to turn in your essay before 11:59pm or it's a zero.
Jane: why not midnight?
Teacher: Because I want it completed TODAY and TODAY ONLY.

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Same day shipping at 11:59pm

The Amazon employee has to speed run the package to your home in one minute. If they don’t succeed they are shipped to Afghanistan to be trained as ISIS members.

Me: (Orders an item on Amazon with same day shipping at 11:59pm)
Cursed Amazon worker: Fuck...

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