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Evan-gelical

Noun; A person who recognizes the awesomeness that is Evan Peters.

Evan-gelicals are usually lethally beautiful girls with sharp wits and sweet personalities who are more likely to hold the door for someone than take a selfie in public. Occasionally, though, Evan-gelicals are confident males who have mad skills with girls, and who usually have dimples and kinetic smiles.

Evan-gelicals have an unwavering belief that Evan Peters should be in absolutely everything, and will often be heard uttering the phrase "Needs more Evan Peters", much as the phrase "Needs more cowbell" was applied to rock music of the olden days.

They will also Evan-gelize any non-believers in the awesomeness of Evan Peters, even regarding the infamous Carl's Jr Quicksilver commercial.

They're not a cult, but if you accused Evan-gelicals of this, they'd probably just laugh, because, how awesome was Evan Peters in AHS Cult, after all?! You just opened yourself up for an Evan-gelization!

Evan-gelicals who didn't notice how great Evan Peters was during their first viewing of American Horror Story because of his exemplary skills that allow him to disappear into a character and just become that character, but who eventually woke to his skills during a second binge watch viewing, are known as born again Evan-gelicals.

Steph: What are you being for Halloween?

Lila: Probably one of Tate's dead cheerleaders.

Steph: I didn't know you were that into Murder House!?

Lila: I wasn't! Maybe I was too young. Around Freak Show, I noticed how good Evan Peters was, and saw how the dearth of his presence left Roanoke so flat and empty. Then I went back and re-watched from the beginning, as a born again Evan-gelical! *giggles* Am I bad???

Steph: No, I think it's cute!

Lila: Yeah. Evan-gelical. It's a thing.

or

Kyle: How would you rate all the seasons of AHS?

Madison: They're all great! But as an Evan-gelical? I obviously thought Cult was the best because it had the most Evan Peters. He played, like, six people. And he was great as all of them! Roanoke was my least favorite because Evan Peters was barely in it. It just needed more Evan Peters.

or

Dan: The Fox version of Quicksilver sucks. What's with the Hot Topic outfit and the breakfast sandwich?

Ruthie: That's blasphemous! *laughs, because Evan-gelicals are cute and witty* I thought that commercial was adorable! Besides, didn't he get everyone talking and interested in the movie doing that spot? The ad worked.

Dan: *scoffs* Put enough time into thinking about a Carl's Jr ad?

Ruthie: *shrugs* Well, I'm an Evan-gelical. He can do no wrong.

by purplemaid February 7, 2018

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