My Dog

Your only friend.

"Hey, do you wanna see that movie tonight?"
"Sorry I have an important date with my dog."

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my dog

me: ok I'm in school

my dog: rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom ima car I` just got out of the car wash

me: oh no my dog gonna run over me

me: gets run over while running down the hall

me: owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

my dog is gonna run me over

19👍 8👎

my dog

Your dog is the best- My dog is the best
people who dont like dogs, never had a dog or just bad people
unless the dog was out of there mind
my dogs great
so is yours

my dog is so bad he ate my taco bell earlier.

10👍 10👎

My dog

An entity who has suffered a horrible death

"My dog is no longer with us... pretty cringe."

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my dog

dog=dick

my dog is so big that it rips pussy open

10👍 45👎

my dogs are barking

My feet are hurting/tired.

I just worked a 12 hour shift, my dogs are barking.

107👍 8👎

My dog

Every time this phrase appears on a girls dating profile, it increases how much time within a week she spends home alone doing nothing by 25%. Usually overused as an answer to everything because they think they’re being clever or funny but when half the single female population does it, it just confirms how boring you are.

Interests: My Dog, petting my dog, walking my dog, spending time with my dog

You should meet my dog.

First date idea: Taking my dog for a walk

3👍 9👎