real tears

An expression that denotes that something has caused the speaker to actually cry. Often used jokingly, sarcastically, and/or self-deprecatingly. Might be considered the opposite of "LOL".

I got a D on my paper. Real tears.

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real jesus tears

Real Jesus tears is when something very truamatic has occurred and you begin to cry. The tears are not the same at just crying though. When you cry real Jesus tears you can feel the pain and suffering in your chest and stomach.

I failed my final exam, when I got the paper back I cried real Jesus tears.