spear the bearded clam

To penetrate a very hirsute vagina with one's pecker.

"What you doin' after the game, Fred?"
"Well Joe, I'm well pissed and I've got a bit of a woodie , so I fink I'll go home to the old bag and spear the bearded clam".

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Spearing the bearded clam

A phrase used in the place of sex

I saw you over there and was wondering if we could be spearing the bearded clam back at my place.

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