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Hockey Mom

1- A mother who takes their children to hockey games and is very competetive

2- A pit bull with makeup

Hockey moms are known to make bad Vice Presidents of anything. Particularly large country.

Sarah Palin thinks that she can fool us into thinking she's an average citizen with her "hockey mom" BS. What a TOOL!

by craziest mofo October 4, 2008

115๐Ÿ‘ 51๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hockey Mom

A Soccer Mom with fewer teeth and permanent pokies.

Sarah Palin claims to be a Hockey Mom, but I didn't know that she was even Canadian.

by UncleGordie September 7, 2008

64๐Ÿ‘ 37๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hockey Mom

noun.
variations: Hockeymom

Complete opposite of a Soccermom. A Hockey mom takes only her kid to hockey practice and let the neighbor's kid walk because he is on the other team.

The Hockey mom uses the following tactics to ensure her kid plays well:

- big breakfasts consisting of a lot of cooked animals

- threatens to beat her kid if he does not score a goal (or lets a goal in, if the kid is a goalie)

- yells at her kid to score when at the game

- yells profanities at the other players

The Hockey mom usually drives a pickup truck and lives on a farm. She is a stay at home mom with a large family (usually 7 kids, 3 girls, 4 boys. All boys play hockey)

The Hockey mom carries these interesting traits:
- will cut off any SUV sporting a "IM A SOCCERMOM" bumper sticker
- usually has a chipped upper front tooth
- usually dirty blonde with long hair parted in the middle
- wears tight levi's jeans from ther high school days in the 80's
- listens to REO Speedwagon and Aerosmith
- Drinks vodka and rum and coke
- Married to a redneck farmer that she met in high school. He inherited the farm and his mom was also a hockey mom.

Totally opposite of Soccermom: See Soccermom

Johnny: Hey! Those two women are fighting!
Billy: That ain't no women, those are our moms!
Johnny: damn, dude, my mom just beat the shit out of your mom!
Billy: That's cause my mom is a Soccermom
Johnny: Yeah, and my mom is a Hockey mom
Billy (sobbing): yeah....

by billyVandory February 15, 2010

27๐Ÿ‘ 15๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hockey Mom

An American woman who, having carried a child to term, and that child having eventually played organized hockey, obtains folksy wisdom which she then interprets as equivalent, if not superior, to a formal education.

The hockey mom is characterized by several distinct markings. First, the hockey mom displays her love for Jesus in a bumper sticker and/or a knitted sweater. Often this display simultaneously rejects other belief systems and life preferences, occassionally damning the 'non-believers' to hell.

Secondly, if the hockey mom has a daughter, that daughter is usually in possession of a promise ring, which inadvertently guarantees the 'turning out' of her daughter in college.

Lastly, the hockey mom is characterized by an intense dislike of the French, especially, and xenophobia, generally, which serves to deflect any criticism on the grounds of hockey's French-Canadian popularity. The hockey mom often does not consider the racist implications of this position having had been exposed to virtually no peoples of color. If pressed, however, the hockey mom will concede that "some of them are alright," especially if "they love Jesus" and don't complain about "stuff" that happened "thousands" of years ago.

1. Sarah Palin is a self-proclaimed hockey mom.

by jbsilverstein October 17, 2008

38๐Ÿ‘ 26๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hockey Mom

1- A mother who takes their children to hockey games and is very competetive

2- A pit bull with makeup

Hockey moms are known to make bad Vice Presidents of anything. Particularly large country.

Sarah Palin thinks that she can fool us into thinking she's an average citizen with her "hockey mom" BS. What a TOOL!

by UrbanDickhead October 4, 2008

7๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hockey Mom

A women that should be watching youth hockey and not pretending she can be the president of the united states.

Look at Katie Couric raping that hockey mom on national television.

by assem October 3, 2008

6๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hockey Mom

An American woman who, having carried a child to term, and that child having eventually played organized hockey, obtains folksy wisdom which she then interpretes as the equivalent of, if not the superior to, a formal education.

The hockey mom is characterized by several distinct markings. First, the hockey mom displays her love for Jesus in a bumper sticker and/or a knitted sweater. Often this display simultaneously rejects other belief systems and life preferences, occassionally damning the 'non-believers' to hell.

Secondly, if the hockey mom has a daughter, that daughter is usually in possession of a promise ring, which inadvertently guarantees the 'turning out' of her daughter in college.

Lastly, the hockey mom is characterized by an intense dislike of the French, especially, and xenophobia, generally, which serves to deflect any criticism on the grounds of hockey's French-Canadian popularity. The hockey mom often does not consider the racist implications of this position having had been exposed to virtually no peoples of color. If pressed, however, the hockey mom will concede that "some of them are alright," especially if "they love Jesus" and don't complain about "stuff" that happened "thousands" of years ago.

1. Sarah Palin is a self-proclaimed hockey mom.

by jbsilverstein October 3, 2008

4๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž