Random
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Random
Any woman who thinks she is smarter than the average bloke.
(Overheard in the House Of Commons):
Female MP: "...and furthermore, I would like to point out that it was men who were responsible for starting the war, and men who..."
Male Speaker: "OK, OK, Professor Pissflaps, you've had your say, now let someone else speak".
27π 6π
A small smear of excrement surreptitiously smeared on the back of one's girlfiend's neck before a girls' night out, in order to deter any would-be suitors.
The missus was going out on her work Christmas party the other night and that smarmy git from accounts was there, so I gave her a Chastity Patch when she asked me to fasten her necklace.
40π 7π
Two men, usually friends, who have both shared a twat, ie have both shagged the same woman. Also, see custard cousins.
I had a go on that bike from the pub at the weekend. That means you and I are now twatmates.
25π 9π
Post self-abuse anguish. The feeling of guilt, regret and self-loathing immediately after masturbation. Combination of 'wank' and 'hangover'.
"Oh, no, I've got such a wangover. I swear I'll never do it again!"
31π 11π
Any phallic shaped fruit or vegetable, eg bananas, cucumbers, fingered lovingly and nostalgically by old ladies in supermarkets.
Just look at the way that old dear is caressing that aubergine. Bless her. Widow's memories, eh?
18π 3π
Especially in the UK, any pretentious person who sits outside a coffee shop sipping lukewarm cappuccino, latte or any other poncey European beverage whenever the rain stops for ten minutes. Usually middle-class women in huge, oversized sunglasses proclaiming "oh my GOD!!!" every other sentence.
"For fuck sake. you can't move on this street anymore. Fucking cuntinentals have taken up all the space."
23π 8π
A turtle's head. A turd that needs to come out.
"Elementary, my dear Watson. From these footprints, I deduce that our quarry was a left-handed doctor of unusually short stature, who had known prosperity but had recently fallen upon hard times, and judging by the short, irregular length of his stride it is apparent that he had a mole at the counter."
45π 7π