I kicked a goose

A poor attempt at dirty talk

Mikey: "I've been bad..."
Sharon: "Oh yeah? How bad?
Mikey: "I kicked a goose."
Sharon: "Ya- wait what?"

The Franco-American Offensive

Putting aside all differences in order to pool resources and attack the British

David: "I was down the pub last night and saw an American and a Frenchman having a brawl."
Mikey: "So what'd you do?"
David: "Well I tried to break it up but they beat the shit out of me instead."
Mikey: "Ah, you're a victim of The Franco-American Offensive."

Primark Bag

Someone who is as weak as a paper bag from Primark

Friend 1: *taps Friend 2*
Friend 2: *shreds instantly*
Friend 1: "God, you're such a Primark Bag."

Mesopotamia

A cute name to call your girlfriend.

Boyfriend: "Hey my Mesopotamia!"
Mesopotamia: "The fuck did you call me?"

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Urban Fisherman

Someone who makes impulsive fish-based purchases.

Mikey: "David... What are you holding?"
David: "A wooden plank with a fish painted on it!"
Mikey: "Why?..."
David: "Cmon dude, you know I'm an Urban Fisherman!"

Designated Carryer

The friend who always has a bag on them and inevitably ends up carrying all of the groups shit.

David: "Hey dude, put this in your bag will ya?"
Sharon: "Oh, can you take this too?"
Paul: "Can you carry this for me as well?"
Mikey: "Why am I always the Designated Carryer?"

Reed Cuisine

A meal with a recipe that is so unthinkable that it can only be the work of some backwards thinking troglodyte.

Mikey: "Here! Have a Chernobyl Sandwich!"
Finn: "What is a Chernobyl Sandwich?"
Mikey: "About half a jar of Nutella and half a jar of Peanut Butter slapped between two slices of bread."
Finn: "That is some fucking Reed Cuisine right there!"