professional bargainer

In retail, a customer who feels they are absolved, for whatever reason, from paying the full retail, or even sale price, of an item. They are ruthlessly aggressive, cutthroat, and Grade-A social bottomfeeders, of the lowest order. Often they will use every lie or excuse in the book, in order to garnish themselves a deal. They will claim a product is damaged, when it is not. They will claim to be family of staff, when they are not. Females will attempt to use sexual charm, while males prefer verbal aggression, to try and break down a salesperson. Easily spotted. Often found standing in the middle of the store, yelling at the top of their lungs, and making an ass of themselves.

"If that 'professional bargainer' makes a purchase from you, make sure you hit him up with the hidden 'PAIN IN MY ASS' tax. He has it coming to him!"

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shit bubble

The 30-second window of opportunity, that accompanies the sudden and powerful urge to have a bowel movement. In which you either find a bathroom, or risk shitting your pants.

"Oh God....I feel a shit bubble coming on! PULL THE CAR OVER! NOW!!"

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concrete shoes

A method of human disposal, developed and perfected by the Italian mob. Involves encasing a person's feet in poured concrete, and dumping them, alive or dead, into a deep body of water.

"Luco Brata sleeps with the fishes. We just fitted him for concrete shoes."

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clubvintory

1.) Taking "inventory" of your pocket contents before heading off to the club. Just to make sure you have everything you need.

2.) When in the club, constantly checking the back pockets of your jeans, in order to make sure you haven't been pickpocketed.

"Did you lose something?"

"Na. Just doing a clubvintory. It's all good."

idiot light

The green coloured indicator on a motorcycle. Which informs the rider, they are in the "Neutral" gear, when lit.

"Dude...Why's my bike not moving?"

"Of COURSE it's not moving, STUPID! Your 'idiot light' is on!"

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bunking a noob

When a new co-worker has to share a timecard slot with you, because they're so fresh, they don't even have their own.

"Who's Ann?"

"She started full time Friday. So I'm bunking a noob, until they get her a slot of her own."

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wallet salad

Paper currency, of any denomination.

"I forgot to hit the ATM. Got any wallet salad on you?"

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