twelve

I should be twelve.

I like girls, just don't expect me to say it out loud.

I hate 'em too - very loudly.

I didn't mean to, somebody pushed me!

School days are way too looooong.

Weekends are way too short and not enough of 'em.

Is it Lunch yet?

Who taped thumb tacks to my chair seat?!?

I wanna drive it!

But I want one with a motor on it!

Where's the food?

OK, the can's open. Now what?

They are not from K Mart!

Hey! You ever played with a Harry Potter Broomstick? No, I mean played with one.

Do I gotta do math today?

Who cares who was President in 1841?!? He's dead ya know!

Oh, wow! Stephanie's bending over! Nnnnniiiiiicccccceeeee!

I don't think I'll ever be old enough to get away with that.

If the doctor puts his hand under boys' balls and says to cough, what does he do to girls, grab their tits and say to fart?

See? I would make a great twelve-year-old. Been there, done that. Being twelve is wasted on people who will spend a whole year learning how to be twelve and when they finally get it right, they turn thirteen and have to start over. Being twelve should be reserved for people who already know how.

65👍 88👎

underwarez

Inappropriately appropriated gratification; ill-gotten getting off. Derived from underwear, that being the usual location of the pleasure derived from underwarez, and warez.

That is a broad definition. Depending upon circumstances, the specific meaning could be anything from shaking hands with the unemployed, to cheating on your partner, to incest.

Not with your sister, you jerk! That's underwarez!

Don't stick your hand in your underwarez in public!

Stop shopping at the middle school, there's nothing there but underwarez!

3👍 2👎

kiddie

What a pedo wants.

Can you get me some kiddie?

91👍 45👎

I gotta go

The Sunday School incarnation of the universal religious concept of shit happens.

See shit happens for some of the other denominational incarnations of shit happens.

37👍 28👎

bone out

(theoretical) To bone somebody so deep that it comes out some other orifice.

No, she wasn't giving head. I boned out and she gagged on it.

13👍 46👎

sexual consent

Willingly having sex, without force, coercion, manipulation, intoxication, or trickery.

Only adults are competent to give sexual consent. No, 12 years old is not adult.

39👍 17👎

stall call

A practical solution to an impractical schedule, but a good way to get hung up on, and your number blocked.

No, I'm not making a stall call! Now, how about we go out toni... (P-f-f-f-f-p-p-p-t... grunt... splash!) (click - bzzzzz!)

(dup-dup-dup-dup-dup-dup-dup... br-r-r-r-ng! br-r-r-r-ng! br-r-r-r-ng! br-r-r-r-ng!) Aw, come on! Pick up the phone! You were just there!

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