Jalapeño Popper

Prison term for throwing or rubbing pepper or jalapeño in the eyes of an unsuspecting victim in the shower before taking advantage and buggering him. Meant to describe getting the worst of a disadvantage in any situation.

Larry this is worse that a Jalapeño Popper... My boss just fucking screwed me! He's taking away my IM!

17👍 10👎

Mustard Patch

In essence, a Mustard Patch is the remains of an "Aristocratic-style" proportion drunken affair in which a moist and viscous collection of various yellow bodliy fluids (both male and female) is deposited.

"Wow, Jerry. We were so drunk last night that I woke up with a Mustard Patch and I couldn't shower 'cause my folks showed up and I was late for work. I spent the whole day apologizing."

14👍 8👎

Antlers

The instance in which a pornstar on her knees takes a cock in each hand, taking turns. Imagine that she is there by herself jerking first the right hand and then the left hand above her head and you'll get the idea.

We went to the corporate dinner/after hours and we met the vice-president of Purchasing... and sometime after last call Nathan and I go to her place. Antlers.

13👍 10👎

german hanky

After sex with a condom the mustard patch or tardy patch becomes an issue so you leave the room to find something to clean up the mustardy goo. You invariably end up in the kitchen where you pick out the grimy dirty yellow dish cloth that will serve as clean-up. You then hang it back up since it's done it's job.

I wonder if I should tell my roommates about the german hanky I used to clean up my tard patch. Hmm, on second thought maybe not.

13👍 14👎

runny mustard

After you have sex and you pull your penis out of your condom and the stuff inside spills out onto your partners pubic hair.

Aww, sweetie i let some runny mustard get into your hair patch. Go take a shower.

4👍 7👎

tardy patch

If you are too late in keeping the spill of your condom from dripping onto your partner you have a tardy patch! It comes from mustard patch which I heard these cheerleaders back in high school talking about in front of my locker.

Babycakes, I left my tardy patch on your quilt. Sweetie Pie get out of my bed please and go take a bath.

6👍 1👎

'tard patch

When you have sex with a condom and all the yellow moisture you generate cakes on top of your pubic hair. The smell of the 'tard patch is bitter and funny, just like mustard. It also becomes really mustardy if all the remains of your condom come out onto the hair.

I have to take a shower baby, I can see my 'tard patch glowing in the dark.

11👍 3👎