Mystery Blinker

The act of pushing your car's turn signal stick up and down in sync with the actual tempo of your car's turn signal. (Troll effect best achieved in multi-directional turn lanes and middle lanes of highways.)

Some A-hole pulled the mystery blinker, then just merged right in front of me.

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Sylvester Stallone

Mokuhl Sylvustha Gahdenziuh Stuhlorn; famoos actner, directah, fimmaker an shit. He muh rehne mooha bawonuh mewa moo meh. Mos renun for his rowe ehmana movies Rommy Barboa an Juhn Rambo

Did you see the movie "The Expendables?" It had Sylvester Stallone in it!

God, I can barely understand Sylvester Stallone when he talks, it's like trying to hear a New Yorker talk with an uncooked potato shoved in his massive mouth.

Interviewer: "So Mr. Stallone, what do you like doing in your free time?"

Sylvester: "Wehl, when ah roowy wink amun it, I foon marself moha junoso munuh, mespooshally quantum biomechanics".

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Engineer

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

You: "Hey, wait here, I'mma go take a dump."

Friend: "Alright."

*5 minutes later*

Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore."

You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?"

Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."

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Buffet Raid

This happens when an individual is eating at a buffet, and hordes of people from (but not limited to) church, school, community groups/organizations, events, etc. arrive via charter bus, forcing others to get out of their seats and stock up on as much food items as they can carry, before the rest is lost to the eternal multitude of hungry, rude, and moody crowds pushing and shoving their way to culinary salvation.

Mother: "Hey kiddo! How was CiCi's with Garry?"

Son: "Ehhh... it sucked ass honestly...buffet raid plundered through the food, so Garry and I hardly got to eat anything. We tried to get up and stock on food, but people started trying to take our seats, so we just left."

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Fapsock

The one unwanted unworn pear of crusty jizz soaked feet-warmers found on the floor next to your computer's chassis. Used generally for emergency fap purposes when the girl's at work or too tired, or when you're single.

Hmm can't find any dish scrubbers. Guess I'll just use my fapsock to scrub the iron skillet.

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Osama Bin Laden

is FINALLY F**KING DEAD!!!! WOOO!!!!

"Hey Joe, did you hear Osama Bin Laden was killed?"

Joe: "It's what you get for F**KING WITH AMERICA"

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Prossy

Short for "Processor" which is essentially the brain of any computing device. Two major processor developers are AMD and Intel.

My stupid ass motherboard died today, so I got to get a new motherboard, which will also require me to purchase another prossy.

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