manbearpig

1/2 bear, 1/2 man, 1/2 pig... 150% retarded.

Don't worry, it's not really manbearpig. It's me, Al Gore.

9👍 73👎

America

America Is... (By Me)

A country founded on pure principals
that are not always true
but mostly are
A country containing many different
but alike
A country of greed
and charity
A country of technology
A country of tools
A country of fools
A country of millions
with debt in the billions
A Bully
A Friend
A country with a hand to Lend
And a country that needs to Mend
A country that is broken?
A country that needs to be woken?
Loved
Hated
Revered
Despised
Home of the Brave
Land of the Free

America is up to you,
Not up to me;

It all depends on what you see.

America can't be defined by anyone but you.
SO DO IT YOURSELF! CUZ' I AIN'T GONNA'.

3493👍 1155👎

itiology

A completely irrational ideology--one that does not make sense.

How can you listen to her itiology?

23👍 6👎

homework

Something that does not benefit either party involved, teacher or student; extra work that should be done in class but isn't for some stupid reason.

The teacher is just making more work for you and for himself/herself.

Why???
We may never know.

I would rather stay in school for 9 hours instead of 7, provided we don't have homework.

Among things I'd rather do:

Poop
Slap someone
Break a window
Fart
Blow my nose
Work in a coal mine (not really)
Sleep
Defacate on the homework
Wipe myself with the homework
Hit someone over the head with a frying pan
Try on all of the clothes in my closet
Go outside
Stay inside
Not fart
Shoot a BB gun
Play "Ding-Dong-Ditch"
Throw myself into a huge room full of packing peanuts
Parasail
Jump out of an airplane (Not happening!)
Belch
Play Videogames
Play online games
Play hopscotch
Play with myself (not what you're thinking, although...)
Drive a Lamborghini Murcielago
Drive a crappy-ass car
Drive a not-so-crappy-ass-but-still-somewhat-crappy-ass car
Crash a not-so-crappy-ass-but-still-somewhat-crappy-ass car
Eat Glass
Climb a tree
Fall from the tree
Try again and subsequently fail
Try many more times until I have not the stregnth nor the willpower to try again

And Much, Much More...

And since I have decided that I'm not going to do my homework, I can gurantee that I'll do at least 5 of these things tonight!!! ;)

344👍 27👎

Jesus Christ

Who Bill Cosby thought he was from ages 7-15

"It was because of my father that from the ages of seven to fifteen, I thought that my name was Jesus Christ and my brother, Russell, thought that his name was Dammit. 'Dammit, will you stop all that noise?' And, 'Jesus Christ, sit down!' One day, I'm out playing in the rain, and my father yelled, 'Dammit will you get back in here!' I said, 'Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!'"

--Bill Cosby

277👍 133👎

AK-47

What people buy when they can't afford an M16.

"Doy you have an M16?"

"No, I have an AK-47."

"Pussy."

49👍 40👎

Cyclone

A typhoon or hurricane.

Cyclones can really fuck-up Bangladesh

84👍 37👎