takeshi kitano

Quite simply one of the best directors in the world right now, as well as being the epitome of cool in his acting persona, "Beat" Takeshi (taken from his stint in stand-up double act, The Two Beats) in most of his own films, as well as the likes of Battle Royale, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Gonin and (oops) Johnny Mnemonic.

Best known for his Yakuza films (such as Sonatine and Brother), as well as Hana-bi and the truly fantastic Zatoichi - both of which winning the Venice Film Festival in 1997 and 2003 respectively.

Also known for presenting Takeshi's Castle - which makes as much sense as Francis Ford Coppola's Saturday Night Takeaway if you think about it. Not to be confused with the qually brilliant and prolific (if borderline deranged) Takashi Miike.

Zatoichi
Sonatine
Brother
Hana-bi

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Al Jean

The man who, since becoming executive producer on The Simpsons, has overseen it go from one of the funniest and well-written shows on TV crammed with sharp observations on the minutiae of modern life, to an endless procession of puerile humour, needless celebrity cameos, and the feeling they haven’t done any work on the script after the initial draft before chucking it on TV.

Al Jean will be forever remembered as the person responsible for The Simpsons being an embarassing shadow of its former self.

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Yard Tard

Derogitory term to describe a backyard wrestler.

"There's more to wrestling than jumping off a roof, you Yard Tard!"
"Get some real training, Yard Tard!"

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dido

The musical equivalent of beige.

"What's this boring, non-offensive coffee bar crap on the radio? Oh, right, it's Dido."

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WWA

Wiggas With Attitude - when a bunch of white kids have listened to their Game CDs far too often, and start to believe that they're in some way gangstas. No matter how utterly moronic they look, talk, dress, act...

"Straight outta Croydon, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cream,
From the gang called Wiggaz With Attitudes..."

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England Header Rule

A rarely exercised rule in football where it doesn't matter if a player is committing common assault on the goalkeeper (which is known in the rulebook as a "foul"), the headed goal is legitimate because an England player scored from it - because, as we all know, England deserve to win every match they'r ein because they'r ebetter than everyone. Any referee that doesn't know this is obviously a complete idiot that cannot do his job properly, and therefore deserving of death threats.

Sol Campbell vs Argentina, 1998.
Sol Campbell vs Portugal, 2004.

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nathan barley

Proof that even Chris Morris can write a pile of crap.

How did the genius behind The Day Today and Brass Eye come up with unwatchable catshite like Nathan Barley?

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