psychic

A person who is stupid, deluded or a fraud.

I walked up to the "psychic", punched him in the face and said "You didn't see that coming, did you?".

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Wales

Country to the west of England that English people often forget exists.

Wales rhymes with whales.

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jennifer aniston

Woman who looks like a lion.

You mean that isn't Jennifer Aniston in the Wizard of Oz?

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scotland

Shithole country to the north of England full of haggis-eating, caber-tossing alcoholics.

Scotland has scenery?

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student loan

The interest rate is 2.4%, but they make most of their money by fucking you over with charges.

Don't get a student loan; the dirty cunts will fuck you right over.

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