Speedy Gonzalez

Put superglue on your hand and start jerking off. You can only take your hand off your dick once you cum. If you can cum fast enough to remove your grip before the glue binds your hand to your dick, you have just pulled off the Speedy Gonzalez.

“Mom, help me! My hand is stuck to my penis because I couldn’t finish the Speedy Gonzalez in time!

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Doherty’s Law

The opposite of Murphy’s law. Doherty’s Law states that anything that can go right will, based off of extreme luck.

That hot girl got with him!? Forget luck, he must have Doherty’s Law on his side

Mindsnipe

Mindsnipe is the action of beating someone to a joke or idea. If you said it before them no matter who thought of it first, you just mindsniped them.

“That girl over there looks like Amy Schumer.” “Dude no way I was just about to say the same thing, you mindsniped me!”

Tommer

A person who can do something stupid beyond belief. Tommer sure are known for their outstanding ability to make the wrong decision despite its unpopularity.

Dude this kid fucked his underage girlfriend and now he’s in jail, just like where we said he’d be. What a tommer!

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Square Dance

When four bisexuals have sex, alternating partners frequently to keep things spicy.

The four bisexuals were getting bored together so they decided to square dance

Mind blow

Fill your nostrils with hydrogen gas. Put a match up to your nose and watch your mind be blown.

“Gonna go out with a bang. Time for a mind blow,”

Spedophile

The spedophile is an advanced form of child molester who specializes in special ed children due to their low mental state and high gullibility.

“I’d arrest that kid, but I gotta give him props: he’s a spedophile, he knows what he’s doing!”

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