fartlets

noun: in sports, a form of punishment in which the punished must run around a track. The last person in the line sprints to the front, and then jogs; the newest caboose must then sprint, etc. etc. Activity continues until a) someone pukes; b) someone collapses, or c) until the coach is satisfied.

If I have to run any more fartlets, I'm gonna lose my shit.

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lose my shit

see lose one's shit

If you kids don't quiet down, I'm going to lose my shit!

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stash

adj: secretive; of a hoarding nature; used to describe one who withholds information and/or goods

That stash little honyocker has a whole bag full of mini Snickers in his locker that he won't share.

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malpyouse

contraction of the phrase "May I help you?" or "May I help youse?"

Employee of Southside Taco Bell, Pueblo, Colorado: "Wal-come to Southside Taco Bells. Malpyouse?"

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terk

adj: messed up; wack

That terk bim was so stash, she wouldn't even give me a piece of gum in Mr. Trontell's class.

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screaming yips

noun: a condition, in which a person or animal spontaneously lurches into spasmodic movements consistent with a baby calf which appears to be kicking with its hind legs at a swarm of flies which aren't there; vocalization that is sharp and loud accompanies this action. The duration of this condition is seconds to minutes.

One teacher: "How are your kids today?"
Other teacher answers: "Shit, man, they've got the screaming yips. I'm about to lose my shit!"
First teacher, "Holy Jesus on a Stick, I have them next period!"

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