Burning Asshole

A fiery sphincter brought on by eating spicy food. More commonly known as Ring Of Fire.

I couldn't sit down for ten minutes after that spicy sh*t, because I had burning asshole.

54👍 10👎

VIP Room

Known as a Champagne Room in the States, a VIP Room is the back room in any Canadian strip club where you receive private dances from strippers. The dancers appear fully nude, and give a "full contact," or "interactive" VIP dance. (Twenty bucks a song.) The quality of the dance (i.e. how much the girl will let you "get away with") may vary. See Mileage.

Barbie talked me back into the VIP Room for a quick dance. Six songs later, and I was out $120 bucks.

39👍 15👎

Vay-kay

Short for "vacation."

Yes, just three more days until Vay-kay!! F*ckin' alright!

32👍 8👎

Stage Diving

The act of jumping on stage at a Ripper Bar, with a five dollar bill in your mouth. (At one time, two dollar coins were acceptable. Could even be performed with a stack of nickels.) The stripper proceeds to remove the bill from you mouth with her lips, cleavage, ass, or pussy.

Give me a fiver so I can jump on stage. That girl is hot!

7👍 19👎

Jenny Craig's Day Off

I term used to describe a sighting of a fat hogg or othewise obese bitch.

Dick: Whoah, did you see that fat whore?
Tom: I sure did!
Harry: Yeah, it must've been Jenny Craig's Day Off.

15👍 18👎

Blow-N-Go

An in-dash breathalizer that is now required by law, in Ontario, to be installed in all DUI offender's vehicles, once they have served their license suspension.

The offender must blow into the device every time the car is started. If there is any alcohol in the offender's blood stream, the car will not start.

Dick had to spend $1000 to have a Blow-N-Go put in his car.

20👍 7👎

Balls Across the Nose

"Balls Across the Nose" is an act of sexual humiliation similar to teabagging, where a male will drape his testicles across the bridge of another person's nose. The "victim" is often inebriated, unconscious, or in an otherwise compromising position.

I was scared that if I dipped my nuts in Tim's mouth that he'd clamp down on them like a fox in a leg trap. So, I took the safe root and just went Balls Across the Nose. Don't worry, it was just as funny - and we got pictures.

63👍 28👎