polyqueer

A catchall for polyamorous relationships and attractions with so many nuances that they can't be described in a short sentence such as "it's an open relationship" or "we're swingers" or "I want to have a stable of broads all to myself (i.e. a harem)". If the relationship would be described on Facebook as "it's complicated" then it's probably polyqueer.

"You guys are swingers, right?"
"Actually I'm in a polyqueer, ethically non-monogamous adelphogamous relationship with Jay and his brother Rob, both of whom also are part of a triad with their ambigusweetie Julia, when she is available under the terms of her geographical non-monogamous relationship with her husband Troy, who's serving in Iraq right now."
"Oh. So you're swingers, then?"

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acquaintancezone

Where you relegate people whose uninteresting posts clog up your social media feeds because they're in your "friends" circle.

"After about her 20th post this week bragging about her workout routine and the different health shakes she's trying, I had to put her in the acquaintancezone."

7👍 1👎

Security through apathy

Reliance on nobody caring enough about your account or system to bother trying to hack into it.

"Dude, shouldn't you use a more secure password than 'qwerty' for your Tumblr account?"
"Nah, who would want to bother trying to hack into it? There's no credit card information or anything like that stored in it."
"Security through apathy. I like it!"

Crawlback number

The phone number you use to call up your ex to try to get back together with them.

"So, after your ex told you that you're a failure as a man, that you were a failure as a husband, and that you would've been a failure as a father, you're still going to try to get back together with her? How are you even going to reach her? I thought she blocked you from everything."
"I think I still have her cell in my incoming call history, so I'll just use that as a crawlback number."

come out of the toy box

To "come out of the tox box" means to admit to being a pedophile.

"James got drunk yesterday and start saying what he most wishes he could do is tap a 7-year-old girl sometime."
"Damn, man, he decided to just come out of the toy box like that to you?"

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Chominators

Large, thick, usually horn-rimmed glasses that look like something a stereotypical chomo (child molestor) would wear. Also called "Predator 3000s."

Man, what you be wearing those chominators for?

Shut up, my regular pair of glasses broke so I'm wearing the ones the prison gave me.

7👍 3👎

Well, i'm glad you find this so amusing

A phrase that is never used literally, but rather is always a response to someone's laughing or poking fun at a problem the person has reason to be seriously concerned about. Sometimes this reproach is, itself, used in a half-amused, bantering way.

"The doctor said that I tested negative for cervical cancer, so I won't be at risk of infertility after all."
"Good to hear that it didn't render your reproductive organs totally out of cervix."
"Well, I'm glad you find this so amusing."

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