931

I think I understand and you’re right, but I don’t know what to do. UD is confusing. I'm trying to make healthy choices through some challenging stuff. I want to respect myself, and you. If there is anything potentially between us, I want to respect that. I’m not sure which parts of this situation are healthy.

As much as I would love to talk in a real way, I’m happy just to see you and say hi. I promise I won’t bring this up, and I apologize that I put you on the spot by asking about it before. I can’t think of an acceptable reason to contact you beyond what I have tried. If I’m misreading the situation I need to leave this person alone, but if I’m not confused and you want to contact me, I will always be excited to hear from you.

931 I'm never sure who you are. Do you recognize me?

43👍 71👎

931

I think about you every day, wonder what you’re doing, imagine us together. You’re so gorgeous, inside and out. There are two places that I’m especially dying to…..

Something I’m watching in myself, like is this healthy to be thinking of you so much? We’re probably idealizing each other. We don’t know each other enough. I just know I like you and I'm strongly compelled to know you better.

But I'm dealing with some shit. I'm a mess and also doing really well, in more than one way. There is context I wish I could explain, like why I’ve been back and forth, but I don’t want to write here. This is really not private, I’m pretty sure an UD editor found me on social media. If I stop showing up online, it isn’t because of you

I'm grateful for your presence ❤️

931 Wish I could hug you, I hope you felt loved today

29👍 50👎

931

Hey, not sure what’s going on, but I’m not upset or anything and hope you aren't either. I am very confused. Can we just be cool with each other? I was asking to see you in person so we could talk about boundaries and stuff, maybe compare notes. I wanted to *privately* and *not documented in writing* let you know I’m open to talking or whatever, and that this sort of thing happens. It really was my responsibility to not let it get this far, but I kept hoping we could talk so the conversation wouldn’t be misconstrued as a slight (it’s not). UD is not the place to have that conversation yo. I would never pressure you to do something physical, and I cringe thinking that’s the impression I may have been giving.

I need to stop the online stuff. I don’t know what is going on with UD, but I hope everything is good for you

931 I’ll always be happy to hear from you in real life!

7👍 52👎

931

I’m not concerned about overthinking, and I trust feelings. That head/heart balance thing…I’d like to know both of yours and share mine. Are you wanting to totally avoid each other in real life, or can we get to know each other? What decision do you mean?
I wish I had more of you than UD, I don’t really like it here. I don’t like sharing this with other people and guessing.

For transparency: I’ve posted two definitions under this name (including this) and about six others under another pen name/no name around the start of this year. I’ve never been on discord. The last time we emailed was April 10.

I miss you. I was so sad the times I thought I’d get to talk to you then didn’t. I’d been looking forward to seeing you, imagining.

931 I don’t even want to admit how much you make me feel

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