dunkin donuts

Everyone's favorite donut -- um, I mean, coffee shop. It first opened in Quincy MA (that's pronounced "Kwinzee") and has now propagated all over the world even to Thailand, where the largest Dunkies ever supposedly seats about 130 people.

This is the only place where a "regular" coffee means with cream and sugar. Also it's the only place to buy some "munchkins", small balls of donut "hole" that you can eat in one bite. (Yes, it's amazing something that sounds this gross was such a big hit.)

This fabulous establishment is loved by everyone: Cops, college students, CEOs, punks, soccer moms, sistas, ABCs, WASPs, your momma, and whoever else walks in the door.

The Dunkin Donuts on my street had a line out the door this morning, so I went to the one two blocks down instead.

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spinning

New form of group exercise in which a dozen or more people (usually women) sit on indoor stationary bikes together and pedal to the sound of music and the directions of an instructor.

Girl 1: Wanna come to the gym with me and take a spinning class?
Boy 1: Um, I think I'll just go outside and ride my bike, but thanks anyway.

Girl 2: Wanna come to the gym with me and take a spinning class?
Boy 2: Hmm, am I in the mood do some real exercise and lift weights or stare at 20 spandexed girl butts for an hour? Hard decision.....

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huntsville

Possibly the most EXCITING place in alabama.
First of all there is a hill there. Second of all, there are giant rockets on it that you can see from miles away. Also there are a zillion chain resturants and many mighty fine office parks. There is even (dun, dun, DUNNN!) an art museum in downtown. And, just wait until Christmastime when 12-ft tall lighted figurines pepper the residential neighborhoods with their awesome, albeit unnerving, glow of holiday cheer. Yee hohoho!!!!

Huntsville is like New Jersey, except in the South. So, basically, the radio stations are worse and the roads are better.

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500 dollar lane

The breakdown lane on a highway. Why? Because that's how much money you gotta pay if a cop catches you driving in it.

(Can also mean the leftmost lane for trucks when they are only allowed to drive on the right.)

Passenger: This traffic sux! Let's take the 500 dollar lane.
Driver: Okay, but only if you'll front the $500 when statey sees us.

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submarine races

"Watching the submarine races" is a euphamism for making out (and more) in a car. It's the kind of thing a cop would say to be funny when he knocks on the fogged-up window of your chevy parked in back of the safeway to ask what you're doing there at 1am, as if he doesn't know damn well.

Cop: Hey, what're you kids doing in there? Watching the submarine races?
People in car: Gak! Where are my pants?

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cheapass

A person who is not only cheap, but also foists his cheapness on others in irritating ways.

The dude who brings TWO PBRs to a BYOB party and then drinks six pilsners is a cheapass. This is probably the same guy who doesn't want to evenly split the bill at a restaurant because your food cost $33 and his only cost $30.

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lineup

A police technique in which a handful of people fitting a similar description are stood in a line together for a witness of a crime to see. The witness is then supposed to pick out the perp.

They had to let the suspect walk after the witness couldn't pick him out of a lineup.

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