Bum nuts

Little pieces of poo that are neglected when wiping ones bum.

Mark- "Oi Dave, why are you walkin like that?"
Dave- "Sorry mate, i've got bum nuts!"
Mark- "Wipe yer bloody arse then!!!"

5👍 9👎

do some charity work

To shag an ugly, fat, twat of a lass coz your mate fancies her fit friend.

Mark: "Where are you going Dave?"
Dave: "See that ugly cunt over the way?"
Mark: "Yeah???"
Dave: "Well, Steve fancies her mate so I'm going to do a spot of charity work!"

22👍 6👎

jumped-up ne'er come-down shite-shovelin-twat

one who is so jumped-up they will ne'er (never) come down, they shovel shite and they are no less than a twat.

Toff- "Oh, i see your driving a ford... I have a porsche!"
Dave- "Shut the fuck up, you jumped-up ne'er come-down shite-shovelin-twat"

20👍 26👎

dog log

dog poo!

WATCH OUT FOR THAT...
*SQUELCH*
...dog log!

46👍 4👎

toffee nosed twat

a stuck up person, a person who thinks he/she is better than YOU!!!

You think your better than me? Stick it up your arse you toffee nosed twat!!!

30👍 11👎