tight pussy

The female version of "size matters."

Guy, "We need to talk."
Gal, "What, are you dumping me?"
Guy, "Well, it's just that you don't have a tight pussy, and that undermines your performance in bed; you know, the motion of the ocean."
Gal, "Maybe your dick just isn't big enough for me, ever thought of that?"
Couple's therapist, "I have a solution. Guy, I'll prescribe you some male enhancement pills; Gal, I'll prescribe you some vaginal tightening pills. It's what I recommend for every couple with a small dick and a huge vag in the relationship."

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