Sesame sneeds

Sesame sneeds are a great lunchtime snack. A term originally coined by the late philosopher and bachelor Matthew Robert Rose.

"Sesame sneeds are a great lunchtime snack.

My mum puts them in my lunchtime pack.
I love them so much, I could eat a whole sack.
Don't judge me, just give me slack."

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Shrimped up

Someone suffering from erectile dysfunction right when they need an erection most, often as a result of nerves, alcohol or drugs. In doing so, their shrivelled phallus resembles a small crustacean.

"Hey Rory, did you and Monica manage to shag last night?"
"No, I was completely shrimped up so I had to cram my rotten boy in her mouth."