heissucha

Overused start of a phrase. 50% of people that submit entries in UD to be published simply take the first name of their friend,enemy, ex-boyfriend, and tack it onto the end of this phrase.

Hopeful entry into the sacred dictionary: Heissucha Robert.
***sound of mouse clicking on the reject button***

24👍 7👎

titchie

1)to be shoeless and snaggle-toothed with straggly red hair and gropey unwashed hands.
2)An under-emphasized flavor in fine wine.
3)The warbling of arm fat on the interstate.

1)She offered to play tonsil-hockey with me, but I was thinking she was a mite too titchie fer me. Her titchie hands were fast on the Johnson like crows on roadkill.
2)I'm not saying the Cabernet did not finish exquisitely. I'm just suggesting that the dingleberry was a bit titchie.
3)I was very upset to be coming home for the holidays, but was calmed by the sweet serenade of Aunt Edna's titchie.

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chesticles

What you get when you dive into icy cold water. The balls snap up through the abdominal cavity and come to rest in the thorax.

The water was so cold, Charlie got chesticles. his Speedo flat as a Ken doll.

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finless brown trout

fish that can be domesticated, but which is often flushed prematurely. Often dumped into toilets, and mistaken for dead as it has no eyes, fins, tail, and doesn't seem to swim.

Timmy didn't want to flush the toilet, but his daddy reassured him, telling him he would restock the waters within hours with fresh finless brown trout.

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cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

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talking points

Political and Moral sign posts for the walking dead.

1) I tried to reason with my mother but it seemed her entire vocabulary had been reduced to a few trite talking points she had heard from the Bills (O'Reilly and Crystal). I had learned to aim for the head when shooting zombies, and now was no time for mistakes.
2) The make-up man did a remarkable job of hiding the bite wounds on the president, but that odd speech rhytm and blathering talking points were a dead give-away. The camera hid the mangled hand, but you could see the rotting flesh on the live feed.

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Break the water line

A dump which is able to support itself and rise above the typical average water level in a toilet. An outstanding achievement, the performer is encouraged to bring others in to witness. Photographs do not have the same impact.

He was able to break the water line with a single chute of feces. They carried from the field that day.

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