Dot my I's and cross my T's.

Making sure your tax documents look sound and legal.

"Robert I am getting audited next week and I am going to have you fill out a w-2 for working here." said Uncle Sam.

"But boss I've been working here for a year and a half." replied Robert."
"I know but I need to make sure I dot my I's and cross my T's." explained Uncle Sam.
"What does that mean?." stated Robert.
"Just put you started here last week." grumbled Uncle Sam.

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Oh my, oh my, I have found you, nigga

A predator called big dog big bear lion saying, after finding a nigga.

Big dog big bear lion : Oh my, oh my, I have found you, nigga.

Nigga: ah shi- *starts running*

Big dog big bear lion : Don't you run from me, lil' nigga.

By my heel, I care not

An overly formal and archaic way to tell someone you don't give a shit. Its modern translation could be "Who asked?" Quoted from Mercutio in Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet".

Benvolio: By my head, here come the Capulets
Mercutio: By my heel, I care not

fuck my hat, I didn't know that

Rhyming expression for use when you really didn't know something, and were maybe even the last person on earth to find out. Goes to show you really do learn something new every day.

'You mean you can't get pregnant by sharing a facecloth? Fuck my hat, I didn't know that!'

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oh my god i microwaved the baby

WHat you say when you've done something stupid. This expression catches peoples attention and should not be used in a professional environment. In the right scenario, it can illict laughter. Also used when you've forgotten something important.

For extra effect say: oh my god i forgot to microwave the baby

Dave: Hey Jim, did you remember everthing?

Jim: Umm, i think so- OH MY GOD I MICROWAVED THE BABY!

Shawn: I think thats everything... i packed clothes, locked the door, gave a key to the neighbors...

Brenda: Are you forgetting something

Shawn: *PAUSES* OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO MICROWAVE THE BABY!

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you scratch my back, I scratch yours

(variants: I'll may replace I)

let us be helpful to one another, let us cooperate

If you remeber to pay the bills, I will rember to do the laundry! You scratch my back, I scratch yours!

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frankly my dear I don't give a damn

A quote from the movie Gone With the Wind. In those days swear words never came in big movies and the director was in trouble. Before the movie was released, he had an option to either change it, or pay $5,000 (which was worth a lot!). He payed the fine of $5,000 and it the quote became famous, it topped AFI's list of top quotes.

There's even a wikipedia article about it that I can't link to because it's too long.

Scarlett: What's going to happen to me?
Rhett: Frankly my dear I don't give a damn

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