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Coomer is an internet meme based on an illustration of a scraggly male character who is mocked as an excessive masturbator. More broadly, coomer (with a lowercase C) is an often ironic insult for an oversexed young man or, more generally, a loser.
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A Mia is a person that isn't good at Dress to Impress and is pretty sigma.
That person is such a Mia