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Typing of the Dead

The best game of all time. An educational game based off of an incredibly gory zombie shooter. Essentially a port of House of the Dead 2, except the zombies carry basic household items (plungers, spatulas, ladles) instead of axes, and all the main characters wield keyboards attached to Dreamcasts instead of guns. In order to defeat the terrifying zombies, you must quickly type relevant words like "Daffodil" and "Snapdragon." The terrible voice acting that was carried over from the original enhances the experience twofold.

Civilian: Oh no. Help me. I don't want to die.
Player: Loretta! Julia! Die-hard Roach! Sphagnum!
Frying Pan-Wielding Zombie: Uggh.
<Frying Pan-Wielding Zombie dies>
Civilian: Thank you for saving me. You can go out that way.
Player's friend: Dude, what the fuck?
Player: Don't hate, it's just Typing of the Dead!

by lovesmesumcake August 22, 2008

25πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


Dookster

1. When something sucks super badly, used in a manner very similar to bullshit.

2. Used to refer to somebody that is as bad or worse than a pile of shit (dookie). Ideally the dookster should be referred to as such when he or she is present but should never find out that he or she is in fact the dookster. Bonus points if the dookster starts making jokes about "the dookster," not realizing that he or she is the dookster his or herself. If the dookster ever finds out that he or she is the dookster, sever all ties with the dookster immediately and never talk to the dookster again.

When joking about the dookster, it's proper to mention how the dookster does typical dookster things (most often making a dookie) and t make "the dookster" gesture, which looks like two thumbs up held close together and waved up and down in opposite directions.

1. Person A: I got an F on my science test!
Person B: Aww man, that's dookster!

2. Person A: I super fucking hate Ron.
Person B: Yeah, Ron sucks ballsack.
-Ron/The Dookster enters.-
Person A: Something smells like shit.
Person B (making the dookster gesture): It's probably the dookster, makin' a dookie!
Ron/The Dookster: Haha yeah guys, that dookster smells like shit...
Person A: Yeah, right.
Person B: The dookster is such a fucking retard.
Ron/The Dookster: Yeah he is!
Person A: You know it.

by lovesmesumcake October 27, 2008

6πŸ‘ 15πŸ‘Ž


Niggard

A stingy or ungenerous person; one who is or is behaving niggardly. Despite popular belief, the word is actually historically considered highly offensive. Should not be confused with the word nigger, which is also highly offensive, but in a different way. In everyday speech, the two words sound nearly identical, so it's a good rule of thumb to save the word for print. It's considered pretty archaic anyway, so it's probably not a good idea to use it in any context unless you want to offend someone who has a less developed vocabulary.

See niggardly, niggardliness.

Person With a Large Vocabulary: Why won't you give me a dollar? You're such a niggard.

Person With a Small Vocabulary: WHAT'D YOU JUST CALL ME?!

Person With a Large Vocabulary: I called you a niggard. You know: stingy, not generous, generally not the kind of person you'd want to hang out with.

Person With a Small Vocabulary: Now you're just being racist!

by lovesmesumcake August 30, 2008

501πŸ‘ 64πŸ‘Ž


Tricky Dick

Originally a nickname used to refer to former U.S. President Richard Nixon. It was actually coined by Democratic politician Helen Gahagan Douglas during the 1950 U.S. Senate race in California because of Nixon's usage of dirty tricks to gain an advantage. It's often incorrectly assumed that the nickname was invented because of Nixon's involvement in the Watergate Scandal, when in reality the scandal was just another instance of him being the Tricky Dick that we know and love.

Sometimes the name is reused in reference to Vice President Dick Cheney for no particular reason.

Also, a very thing to call anybody who prefers to be known as Richard, Dick, or Dickie (in which case the name can become Tricky Dickie).

That Tricky Dick spread all sorts of slander about me in the 1950 Senate race!

by lovesmesumcake August 18, 2008

285πŸ‘ 39πŸ‘Ž


Ventura County

Los Angeles County's cleaner, cheaper, less interesting, and less relevant neighbor to the north. Los Angeles County's relationship to Ventura County is a lot like the United States' relationship to Canada.

I needed a new camera, to I went up to one of those cheap pawn shops in Ventura County to get one for less than $50. What a bargain! Thanks Ventura County!

by lovesmesumcake August 21, 2008

72πŸ‘ 32πŸ‘Ž


Ass Bandit

From the Oxford English Dictionary:

ass banҀ’dit
noun - vulgar slang (also ass burglar)
1. a male homosexual sodomite or pederast.
2. an eager seducer of young women

1. NAMbLA is composed entirely of ass bandits.
2. Carl, the 40-year-old man with a handlebar mustache and a receding hairline, is a creepy fucking ass bandit.

by lovesmesumcake August 21, 2008

38πŸ‘ 20πŸ‘Ž


Los Angeles

Los Angeles is the second most populous city in the United States (after New York), but the largest in terms of what is considered the Greater Los Angeles Area (which is generally considered to include Los Angeles County, Riverside County, Orange County, San Bernardino County, and Ventura County, sometimes referred to as "The Southland"). Los Angeles County itself is also the most populous county in the United States. When people normally refer to "Los Angeles," they generally refer to the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area, which includes only Los Angeles and Orange Counties.

The Los Angeles Metropolitan Area is composed of many separate cities that are sometimes mistaken as neighborhoods within Los Angeles as well as many neighborhoods that are sometimes mistaken for separate cities. Beverly Hills, for example, is its own city within Los Angeles county (it has its own mayor, police department, and everything), while Hollywood is merely a district within the City of Los Angeles. People from Los Angeles are known as "Angelenos."

Los Angeles is known as the media capital of the world because of the large numbers of movie studios in the city, as well as the numerous television studios and the dynamic music scene that has spawned acts like The Doors, Beck, Eagles, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and many more. The first successful movie filmed in Los Angeles is generally considered to be 1914's "The Birth of a Nation."

There are four main area codes in Los Angeles proper: 213 was the first area code in the city, and now refers only to a small area downtown. The 323 area code forms a circle around the 213 area. 310 refers to west Los Angeles, and has by far the biggest coverage of any of the Los Angeles area codes, stretching as far north as "The Valley" (more on that later) and as far south as the San Pedro bay. The 818 area code refers to "The Valley" alone (including the far northern parts of Los Angeles as well as the suburbs even farther north of that). Other less known area codes include 424 (a recent overlay of 310).

The Los Angeles area has many districts and cities that I'll now try to tackle, though I can't possibly squeeze what people have written entire books about into a small article online. Perhaps the most famous district of Los Angeles is Hollywood, home of the golden age of cinema. While some studios still exist in Hollywood, much of the movie industry has moved out to cheaper areas; nevertheless, Hollywood is still the classic "name" in the movie industry. Nowadays, Hollywood is mostly home to both high-income housing and low-income housing, depending on what part you are in. Generally, the real estate immediately around Hollywood Boulevard and Sunset Boulevard (which run parallel to each other) is expensive, while anything a few blocks down is cheap and sketchy. Hollywood Boulevard itself is nowadays mostly overcrowded with tourists most of the year, who come to observe the infamous "Walk of Fame," which stretches for several miles. The congestion mostly centers around two of Hollywood's biggest attractions, which are very close to each other: Grauman's Chinese Theater (an icon of grand, classic movie palaces) and the mall at Hollywood and Highland (which is built to resemble the set of "Intolerance," another movie directed by D.W. Griffith, the man who directed "Birth of a Nation"). The area around those two points if interest, while touristy, is often somewhat sketchy at night as it is inhabited by transsexuals and strange people dressed in costumes (though I do recommend getting a photo with one of them at least once in your life). Other attractions in Hollywood include the infamous Hollywood Sign, which is technically in the Hollywood Hills (north of Hollywood). The sign can be observed from many points throughout the county, however.

Another famous area in Los Angeles is West Hollywood, which is its own city (it has its own mayor, police department, and everything). Despite the name, it's not techincally related to Hollywood itself, even though it is west of Hollywood. A popular misconception is that natives call this area "WeHo," though I've never heard the term. West Hollywood is most famously home to the "Sunset Strip," a series of blocks on Sunset Boulevard that contains many staples of Los Angeles culture including the Whisky A Go-Go (The Doors had several early shows there), The Viper Room (previously owned by Johnny Depp, actor River Phoenix died there), and many more.

The city of Beverly Hills is one of the more affluent areas in Los Angeles county. Attractions include the multiple Beverly Hills signs that dot the city, around which tourists congregate on weekends and during summers to snap photos. Also in Beverly Hills is the famous Rodeo Drive, a street that plays home to the most chic (and expensive) of designer clothing. There are many, many clothing stores throughout Beverly Hills, many of them more affordable than yet still as chic as the ones on Rodeo.

Santa Monica is another independent city on the coast of Los Angeles where you can find even more shopping down Main Street, which has several quirky, unique stores along with big names like American Apparel. The 3rd Street Promenade is also famous for its stores. Santa Monica is also the location of most of the county's cleaner beaches, as well as some of the nicest weather in the area, due to its seaside location.

Downtown Los Angeles is a district of the city that has several very cool attractions like Dodger Stadium, the Disney Concert Hall, and the Wiltern, though be warned--it is very, very easy to get lost downtown and end up in a very sketchy neighborhood. I highly suggest that nobody goes there unless they're with someone who knows what they're doing, as the neighborhood isn't so tourist-friendly. Other attractions include the tallest building west of Chicago, which is the US Bank Tower.

As far as Orange County goes, there is not much there. The community of Laguna Beach was made famous by the MTV television show, but isn't that interesting of a place in general. The only real interesting thing in Orange County is Disneyland, which is in the city of Anaheim.

North of the bulk of Los Angeles lies the San Fernando Valley, known as just "The Valley" by locals. It is home to the communities of Sherman Oaks, Encino, Van Nuys, and several other places that aren't too interesting to check out. Strangely, since it's a valley, The Valley is usually several degrees warmer or cooler than the rest of the city (you can literally drive for five minutes and experience a ten degree temperature drop).

Yes, Los Angeles is famous for its crime rate, which was the worst in the early 90s, but has since gone down significantly. Cities famous for gang culture in the Los Angeles area include Compton, Watts, and Inglewood, which are all generally south of anything interesting or relevant in the city, so most residents don't go down there.

In terms of public transportation, there is virtually none. The bus system is helpful for residents who are willing to take the time to learn its confusing routes, but most people just take cars everywhere, which is sort of easy thanks to the extensive network of highways that traverses the city. Unfortunately, these highways are often backed up, leading to severe traffic when traveling long distances. Yes, there is a subway system in Los Angeles, but it mostly just covers the downtown area (yet some lines do extend north into The Valley and south into Compton). It's generally considered more of a novelty by people who have cars.

Public education in Los Angeles is considered by some to be a joke, which is partly true. Public high schools in Los Angeles tend to offer very poor educations, though many elementary schools and some middle schools are top-notch. Los Angeles is also home to a private school "scene" perhaps rivaled only by New York City, with dozens of private schools offering superb educations to those whose parents have enough money to spend on them.

I have to mention the weather in Los Angeles, which is bright and sunny about 80% of the time. There is usually a period in late winter when it rains for several days, but other than that rain is very rare and, for that matter, so are clouds. The climate is very dry (we are in a desert, after all), which is pleasant in the summer because the city gets hot but not muggy.

Yes, the air quality in Los Angeles is pretty bad, although it's not too noticeable from breathing alone. However, from certain high points in the city, you can definitely see the smog layer over the Los Angeles basin. At dusk it looks really cool, and it makes for great sunsets!

Generally, Los Angeles is a great place to be if you know what to avoid. While it's hard to get around, it's a great place to visit because of all the fun things to do (concerts, clubs, shopping, etc) and sights to see. Sometimes it's a pain in the ass to live here, but for the most part it's a blast!

(I think that I have the know-how to write about this, considering I'm a NATIVE Angeleno. As in, I hail from the actual city itself, not some lame suburb...)

Person 1: Dude, Los Angeles totally suxxxx0rz omg I'm gonna get shot if I go!!!

Person 2: Have you ever been? Most neighborhoods are pretty safe, and there's a lot of cool shit to do.

Person 1: z0mg but what about the earthquakes?!?!?!?

Person 2: They don't happen that often, like once or twice per year. And they're not huge. Sometimes they're kinda fun, actually.

Person 1: aaahhhh whatevverrr Im not goin i'm happy staying hereee in my lame-ass suburb in middle Americcaaaaaa

Person 2: Suit yourself.

by lovesmesumcake August 14, 2008

100πŸ‘ 42πŸ‘Ž